Peace Out

Hey everyone!

I have finished making edits and revising my essay! I am just waiting for the dropbox to open so I can submit it and be done :)

Thank you all for a wonderful semester. I don't think any combination of words can accurately describe how stressed I was. But I learned so much....it was definitely worth it.

I am grateful I had the opportunity to rediscover some old passions and become a better well-rounded person.

Anyways, its been real. Have a wonderful summer wildcats ;)

Bianca

Peer Review 15 (for Mariana Chacon)

This is my final peer review for the semester! I have to admit, I did not always feel like time was on my side this semester, but I always liked peer review. I like seeing how people create and structure their projects different according to their own personalities and goals.

"Approve" via giphy.

 

For this review, I looked at Mariana's standard essay and left a content suggestion. This is her blog post, and this is her draft.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Include quotes or sources that show progression of time management

• blog posts! specifically the reflections at the end of each major project

• Write a little bit about how the internal writing processes changed

• content, style, what section write first

I think Mariana will find my comments helpful, because I explained the parts of her essay that were done wonderfully and the parts that need a bit more work. I suggested she write about internal changes in her writing process, because I think this will help her be more thorough and detailed. She has a lot of great ideas and writes a lot about time management. That is her major theme. She explains how it affected her writing process, but I think her essay would benefit from an explanation of how it also affected the internal components.

How I incorporated course materials:

I definitely looked at the Project 4 Guide. I left suggestions based on the purpose of the assignment, which is to explain how your writing process has changed due to different factors. We are able to choose which factors to write about. Since Mariana put a large emphasis on time management, I wanted to make sure she was answering all the questions that the guide tells us to.

I also looked at the Student's Guide "questions to ask" section, which suggests how to maximize sources and evidence. I thought Mariana could benefit from adding quotes of herself throughout her process to really show the audience how he felt after each project and how these feelings changed.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I really liked the tone she used in her essay, especially in the introduction. In general, the introduction is strong because it uses an appropriate tone, starts with a story, is easy to relate to, and introduces the main theme. In my introduction, I focus a lot on the pre-109H story. I can learn from Mariana's tone and incorporate something similar into my essay.

Editorial Report 15b

So, now that my rough cut has been completed, it is time to start to editing process.

"Writing". 7/3/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I decided to use the second paragraph for this post, because it is the longest. I want to shorten it and fix instances where I may be unclear.


Rough cut selection

I arrived in college with a naive idea of renewal. I moved away from home, my graduating class was spread out across the country, I had new curtains. It appeared to me as if everything was different and everything was new. Two weeks into the year, I began to feel the same dull acceptance that haunted my high school years. I still felt like I didn’t have time. True, I did have “more time” because I had less classes per day, but I also had more responsibilities. I still always feel rushed and time was still not working for me. Time management has always been a struggle for me. I cannot begin to count the times I have showered at 3 am, completely wrecked my sleep schedule, didn’t eat for days. Throughout this semester, my time management skills have remained constant, but my attitude and strategy have changed. Looking over my production schedules from project 2 to project 4, I can see that I have become more honest with myself on how much I can actually accomplish in a set time. I also began giving myself “buffer days”, so I can have extra time to work on what I have already completed or to catch up on something I missed. I’ve finally starting to become more realistic with my time and started to spread my time out. My strategy has always been to sit myself down and work for a crazy amount of hours. For project 3, I spent 14 hours working on it non-stop, then didn’t touch anything for several days. Although I have made this process work and I still complete my work on time, it drives me crazy. I temporarily lose my mind. So I have started to structure my time in smaller chunks so I can have better control of the final product. I also can’t do everything. I’ve realized that. When am I ever going to have perfect time management skills? Never. Just no. There will never be a day when I have a perfect system, especially if I want to be a doctor. I have to be organized, flexible, and use my time wisely, but there will never be a “perfect” way. My issue is that once I write something down on my planner or schedule, I am reluctant to change it. It is as if I have been shaping myself to fit the time, when I should be making the time work for me. My blog reflection posts also show this. With each passing project, I wrote about how I became calmer despite my limited time. I have accepted that I will always struggle with time, but I need to make it work for me now. Sometimes, I will need those 14 hour non-stop days. Other times, I will need one 20-minute session daily. It’s all about judging the amount of work I have and the time I realistically have. I learned in project 2 that communication and flexibility are absolutely essential to success in the medical field, so it is important for me to adapt to a new mindset.

Re-edited selection

I arrived in college with a naive idea of renewal. I moved away from home, my graduating class was spread out across the country, I had new curtains. It appeared as if everything was different and everything was new. Two weeks into the year, I began to feel the same dull acceptance that haunted my high school years. I still felt like I didn’t have time. Although I had less classes per day, I had more responsibilities. I still felt rushed and time was still not working for me. Time management has always been a struggle for me. I cannot begin to count the times I have showered at 3 am, completely wrecked my sleep schedule, didn’t eat for days. My time management skills have remained constant, but my attitude and strategy have changed. Looking over my production schedules from project 2 to project 4, I began giving myself “buffer days”, so I can have extra time to work on what I have already completed or to catch up on something I missed. My strategy has always been to sit myself down and work for a crazy amount of hours. For project 3, I spent 14 hours working non-stop, then didn’t touch anything for several days. Although this process sometimes works, it drives me crazy. I temporarily lose my mind. So I have started to structure my time in smaller chunks so I can have better control of the final product.

I have also become more honest with myself on how much I can actually accomplish in a set time. I can’t do everything. I’ve realized that. When am I ever going to have perfect time management skills? Never. Just no. There will never be a day when I have a perfect system, especially if I want to be a doctor. Yes, I have to be organized, flexible, and use my time wisely, but there will never be a “perfect” way. My issue this semester was that once I wrote something down on my planner or schedule, I was reluctant to change it. I have been shaping myself to fit the time, when I should be making the time work for me. My blog reflection posts also show this. With each passing project, I wrote about how I became calmer despite my limited time. I have accepted that time will never be in excess, but I need to make it work for me now. Sometimes, I will need those 14 hour non-stop days. Other times, I will need one 20-minute session daily. It’s all about judging the amount of work I have and the time I realistically have. I learned in project 2 that communication and flexibility are absolutely essential to success in the medical field, so it is important for me to adapt to a new mindset.


How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?

• I kept most of the content. I have everything that I needed

• I got rid of unnecessary phrases like "to me" and "throughout the semester". They were wordy and added unnecessary length to the paragraph

• I rephrased some sentences for clarification

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I decided to split this into two paragraphs

• I realized that I was talking about realistic time goals, and then I quickly switched to talking about buffer days halfway through. This did not flow very well, so I decided to make a paragraph about realistic time and another for buffer days

• This helps the content because using smaller paragraphs is easier on the eyes. This also helps my ideas connect better

• Using less wordy sentences also helps with the flow and makes the overall message clearer

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

It's completely crazy to think this is my last rough cut of the semester. I still remember the panic I left on the first day of class when we went over the syllabus and I realized just how much work I would have to do.

But we made it through...

"Because we're smart". via gifirific.

Anyways, its been a fun semester. I really did enjoy it. Half the time I was very stressed, but the other half, I was genuinely enjoying the projects. Each one allowed me to be creative and learn effective communication.

The link to my rough cut can be found here.

Key Information (Please help me with the following...)

• Please help me come up with a creative title!

• What should I keep? What should I get rid of?

• The most important thing I want to know is what sections give the best information in the best way? I am going to shorten the essay, but I am interested in knowing what parts I should definitely keep.

• Is my tone appropriate? Is the essay too relaxed or too formal?

• Is there any other content I should include?

Major Issues

• Length, I will shorten it later

• I use the word "things" a lot. This is a major no no, but I didn't know how to phrase some sentences at the time 
• I am trying to figure out what tone to best use

• I do not know what content is the most effective and meets the project requirements yet

Major Strengths

• I am thorough in my explanations and logically explain my points

• I have a good introduction that shows how I felt before coming into the class, and it captures my personality

• My conclusion summarizes what I have learned and why it is important

• I bring everything back to my writing process and explain how it has been affected

Editorial Report 15a

In this post, I will be showing a revised version of production report 14b. This section just completely destroyed whatever vibe my introduction paragraph had, so it needs to be fixed ASAP.

The feedback I received for this paragraph made me realize I sound like I am writing a lab report since I am being a bit impersonal and not utilizing the tone and personal details well.

"Typewriter". 7/2/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Rough cut selection

One of the most evident changes in my writing style has been the content and the overall technique. Throughout the semester, I became more confident in my communication abilities, which is shown in the genres I chose. I started with the QRG, which was very similar to the type of writing I did in high school, it was very text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which was in its own way text heavy, except then I had to record it. Next, I tried the video essay, which required more commitment and a developed style. This slow yet effective progression of involvement in my projects allowed me tp notice which areas I was strong in (content, creativity, details) and which areas I lacked in (volume, authority). So as my creativity in projects increased, the content and topic I chose narrowed. For project 1, I wrote about issues the residents at the University of Washington were having. For project 2, I wrote about writing in the medical field, specifically at the University of Arizona medical school. And for project 3, I proposed for some solutions to the issue of voluntourism. I modeled my solutions after the structure of the U of A's MedLife chapter, which I observed during my trip. One issue I have seen present in my writing throughout the years is that I tend to pick large subjects, then have a lot to talk about, which makes my projects longer. In general, I much prefer slightly broader topics because it allows me more freedom to choose what to talk about and emphasize. I write the way I like to photograph. I will start with a big picture, then zoom into the details, then zoom out again to reveal the larger significance. I am probably doing that with this paper right now as well. But as the projects for this class progressed, I found myself needing to pick smaller topics with a specific context that I could analyze. Because of this, my writing style became more specific to the situation. Although it seems like a tiny change, this is a significant experience for me, because I usually don't change certain aspects of my writing style, like the way I center the content and message. In some way, I have grown to feel comfortable with different styles and smaller topics, which leads to different uses and types of writing. These skills will be beneficial in both my academic and personal life.


Re-edited selection

Truth be told, sometimes I think I can be rather lazy. Surprisingly, the progression of my project and writing choices throughout the semester tell me otherwise. The amount of writing I have done in college is severely less than what I did in high school. So naturally, the first project I picked was the QRG, since it is the most text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which is essentially a spoken essay. Next, I tried the video essay, which is more creative and incorporates more features (audio, text, still image, video) than any other genre. I didn't even want to touch this standard essay until I absolutely had to (here I am now). I was in honors and AP English for so many years, it is hard to break out of that mindset. I have certain ideas of what I think writing should look like and what conventions to follow. It was a bit strange to suddenly find myself jumping into projects that require the same work from me, but in different ways. I've never been a strong public speaker, anyone that knows me can testify to this sad truth. This semester forced me to take my writing and vocalize it over and over again. Was it exhausting? Yes. Did I like it? Not entirely. Did I learn from this? Absolutely. As I am writing this now, I am imaging how I would put all this information in the form of a video essay. It has been incredibly refreshing to think beyond the "point, evidence, analysis" of the AP world. There are many different ways to express the same information depending on the context. That is among the biggest things I have picked up this semester. I am pretty lowkey done with all these essays and am completely open to new ways of communication. In addition, I have also noticed that I have committed to smaller, more specific topics. Honestly, I can commit to things. It might not seem like it, but I totally can--except when it comes to writing! I always prefer these massive, huge topics because I like having a lot of room to explore the topic in different directions and to talk about a lot of aspects o a topic. With project 1, I chose to look into residents at the University of Washington. Good, I picked a specific place. But then for project 2, I picked the University of Arizona first year student body (specifically Ned) and Physiology department (Dr. Cohen) to look at. Great, a narrow topic with specific people involved. And for project 3, I focused on the UA MedLife chapter and my specific experiences. This was a big deal for me, because it was a smaller topic, so I didn't have room for the "exploratory possibilities" that I held so dear to my heart. But in the end, I realized having smaller topics allows more room for my opinions and more in depth analysis and discussion. It is also much easier to digest information about a specific story instead of the whole collection in a series. I learned how to frame my writing in much more productive ways.


How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?

• I only kept the main ideas! I kept the information about the project topics, genre choices, and my thoughts on the progression of choices.

• I got rid of everything else. The original content was unnecessarily wordy and did not flow well at all. I had just finished writing a ton of lab stuff before I wrote the raw content last week, so I think that probably affected my mindset and made this paragraph sound so weird.

• I decided to re-write this paragraph as if I were talking to a friend instead of just explaining this to some random person. So I included shorter sentences and phrases I use in my daily life.

• I think the content is being more effectively conveyed because it is less formal, more friendly, and overall easier to read.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• The length is about the same, which helps keep the form neat. I tried to not make it too long or too short.

• I used shorter sentences to make the tone sound friendlier and less formal.