The feedback I received for this paragraph made me realize I sound like I am writing a lab report since I am being a bit impersonal and not utilizing the tone and personal details well.
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| "Typewriter". 7/2/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. |
One of the most evident changes in my writing style has been the content and the overall technique. Throughout the semester, I became more confident in my communication abilities, which is shown in the genres I chose. I started with the QRG, which was very similar to the type of writing I did in high school, it was very text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which was in its own way text heavy, except then I had to record it. Next, I tried the video essay, which required more commitment and a developed style. This slow yet effective progression of involvement in my projects allowed me tp notice which areas I was strong in (content, creativity, details) and which areas I lacked in (volume, authority). So as my creativity in projects increased, the content and topic I chose narrowed. For project 1, I wrote about issues the residents at the University of Washington were having. For project 2, I wrote about writing in the medical field, specifically at the University of Arizona medical school. And for project 3, I proposed for some solutions to the issue of voluntourism. I modeled my solutions after the structure of the U of A's MedLife chapter, which I observed during my trip. One issue I have seen present in my writing throughout the years is that I tend to pick large subjects, then have a lot to talk about, which makes my projects longer. In general, I much prefer slightly broader topics because it allows me more freedom to choose what to talk about and emphasize. I write the way I like to photograph. I will start with a big picture, then zoom into the details, then zoom out again to reveal the larger significance. I am probably doing that with this paper right now as well. But as the projects for this class progressed, I found myself needing to pick smaller topics with a specific context that I could analyze. Because of this, my writing style became more specific to the situation. Although it seems like a tiny change, this is a significant experience for me, because I usually don't change certain aspects of my writing style, like the way I center the content and message. In some way, I have grown to feel comfortable with different styles and smaller topics, which leads to different uses and types of writing. These skills will be beneficial in both my academic and personal life.
Re-edited selection
Truth be told, sometimes I think I can be rather lazy. Surprisingly, the progression of my project and writing choices throughout the semester tell me otherwise. The amount of writing I have done in college is severely less than what I did in high school. So naturally, the first project I picked was the QRG, since it is the most text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which is essentially a spoken essay. Next, I tried the video essay, which is more creative and incorporates more features (audio, text, still image, video) than any other genre. I didn't even want to touch this standard essay until I absolutely had to (here I am now). I was in honors and AP English for so many years, it is hard to break out of that mindset. I have certain ideas of what I think writing should look like and what conventions to follow. It was a bit strange to suddenly find myself jumping into projects that require the same work from me, but in different ways. I've never been a strong public speaker, anyone that knows me can testify to this sad truth. This semester forced me to take my writing and vocalize it over and over again. Was it exhausting? Yes. Did I like it? Not entirely. Did I learn from this? Absolutely. As I am writing this now, I am imaging how I would put all this information in the form of a video essay. It has been incredibly refreshing to think beyond the "point, evidence, analysis" of the AP world. There are many different ways to express the same information depending on the context. That is among the biggest things I have picked up this semester. I am pretty lowkey done with all these essays and am completely open to new ways of communication. In addition, I have also noticed that I have committed to smaller, more specific topics. Honestly, I can commit to things. It might not seem like it, but I totally can--except when it comes to writing! I always prefer these massive, huge topics because I like having a lot of room to explore the topic in different directions and to talk about a lot of aspects o a topic. With project 1, I chose to look into residents at the University of Washington. Good, I picked a specific place. But then for project 2, I picked the University of Arizona first year student body (specifically Ned) and Physiology department (Dr. Cohen) to look at. Great, a narrow topic with specific people involved. And for project 3, I focused on the UA MedLife chapter and my specific experiences. This was a big deal for me, because it was a smaller topic, so I didn't have room for the "exploratory possibilities" that I held so dear to my heart. But in the end, I realized having smaller topics allows more room for my opinions and more in depth analysis and discussion. It is also much easier to digest information about a specific story instead of the whole collection in a series. I learned how to frame my writing in much more productive ways.
How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?
- I only kept the main ideas! I kept the information about the project topics, genre choices, and my thoughts on the progression of choices.
- I got rid of everything else. The original content was unnecessarily wordy and did not flow well at all. I had just finished writing a ton of lab stuff before I wrote the raw content last week, so I think that probably affected my mindset and made this paragraph sound so weird.
- I decided to re-write this paragraph as if I were talking to a friend instead of just explaining this to some random person. So I included shorter sentences and phrases I use in my daily life.
- I think the content is being more effectively conveyed because it is less formal, more friendly, and overall easier to read.
How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?
- The length is about the same, which helps keep the form neat. I tried to not make it too long or too short.
- I used shorter sentences to make the tone sound friendlier and less formal.
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