Report on My Interviews

Okie dokie, the interviews have been done.

"Computer". 1/31/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I felt nervous at first, but everything turned out great! I met with Dr. Cohen, a U of A physiology professor, and Ned, a U of A second year medical student.

What are the most significant or interesting genres that you learned about from your interviewees? 

• Patient history reports

• Personal statements

• Academic blog writing

How do these genres differ from on another? (genre conventions, content, purpose, audience, message, context)?

• Patient history reports

• Written strictly by doctors for other doctors

• The purpose is to write down the necessary information concerning a patient

• The idea is that if an emergency occurs, doctors will know exactly what treatments the patient has gone through, who has seen the patient, what the patient's symptoms are, etc.

• This report is supposed to be as condensed as possible and there is specific terminology to use

• Very delicate, concerns patient health so doctors have to be careful and detailed

• Personal statements

• Written by medical school applicants for admissions committees

• The purpose is to tell your story, why you want to go to medical school, what your goals are, who you want to be

• Supposed to be relatively short, about a page and a half, and structured like an essay but not really

• There is some creative freedom, as long as you incorporate the necessary answers to the questions they ask

• Very important part of the application!

• Academic blog writing

• Written by professors for other professors, students, or others interested in the field

• The purpose is to inform and pass along information, analysis, etc.

• Much like my blog, the conventions are to be relatively brief, but since writing academically is more of a professional setting, the tone is more serious 

• There are less constraints regarding content

Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is a challenge about writing within these genres (from a professional POV)?

• Patient history report

• Very specific terminology

• Have to correctly identify symptoms, diseases, treatments and write them in a way that is universally understood in the medical setting

• Extremely detailed, but have to fit the necessary info and organize it so it doesn't take too much space

• Personal statement

• It is difficult to condense a life story into a page and a half

• Students often misunderstand the purpose and end up writing about the wrong thing

• Have to figure out what is the best way to represent yourself through your own style of writing

• Academic blog

• Have to condense information but be thorough at the same time

• Unsure of audience reaction

Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is a reward about writing within these genres (from a professional POV)?

• Patient history report

• Able to quickly communicate patient information from doctor to doctor

• Great organizational way to write all about the patient, diagnosis, treatment

• Can be used years later and doctors will still be able to understand

• Personal statement

• Creative way to explain who you are and why you want to attend medical school

• You get to write about yourself

• Good way to evaluate goals and ambitions

• Academic blog

• Able to write about a lot of topics within the field

• Interaction with audience

Where in mass media can examples of this genre be found?

• Patient history report

• Will definitely not be in mass media!

• Found in doctor's office, hospitals, etc.

• Patients usually do not see these

• Personal statement

• Will also not be in mass media

• Found in student's computers and in admissions offices

• Academic blog

• Found in media!

• Online blogs or websites that post content concerning this topic

I learned so much about writing in the medical field! I can't wait to continue researching these genres and constructing my podcast.

From Academia to Social Media

It might be helpful to learn about how writers express themselves in social media.

"Online". 10/1/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I tried looking through the Mayo book and searching for those authors online, but I did not really find anyone. This is probably due to the fact that the journal was published in 1986, before the big boom of social media.

So then I tried looking for authors from The American Journal of Surgery.
Again, no luck.

I think this is due to the fact that doctors tend to keep a very low profile. Ned talked about this in our interview.

I will continue looking and will update soon, hopefully.

Academic Discourse and Genre

Now that I know more about the types of writing in my field and where they are located, I can talk about the different genres.

"Medical". 12/10/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Since I am a pre-medicine student, most of the writings I can analyze for this project are scientific papers from research.

I looked through a Mayo Clinic journal that I found at the library.

How many different kinds of genres seem to be published in this issue?
Genres are identifiable by their form, content, techniques, or social function.

• The only genre that is found here is scientific research papers. Everything has a clear abstract, introduction, methods, results, discussion, and references section. 

• The papers only differ in the "main character"
• certain bacteria or organism, specific clinical procedure, specific equipment 

Identify three different genres within the journal issue. Describe the significant formal differences between them. (I made up these names)

• The ism experiment

• Name?

• I chose this name, because this genre revolves around explaining the effects a certain treatment has on an organism and why this is important to the medical field. The aim of this genre is to explain how these findings can logically be adapted or played with to help humans.

•  How is it different?

•  The aim of this genre is to explain how these findings can logically be adapted or played with to help humans.

• The audience is anyone in medicine, really.

• Could be considered in its "early stage", because the fun is really just beginning

• The procedure police

• Name?

• I came up with this name because the genre reminds me of those situations where you're hanging out and then an older adult is like "you should do this and this in this particular way because...". And although you are slightly skeptical at first, you know they are right.

• How is it different?

• The aim of this genre is to propose new plans for solving the problems in medicine. These can be surgical or medical.

• The audience is definitely other doctors who are also able to perform these procedures.

• Considered to be in more advanced stages, because the findings here can be applied to the field more easily

• The Dr. Gadget

• Name?

• I picked this name because I remember watching Inspector Gadget as a kid, and that movie is what came to mind when reading these types of papers.

• How is it different?

• The aim is to show new technology and equipment in the medical field and how it can help further develop procedures and clinical studies.

• The audience is broader, can be medical doctors and engineers

• Considered to be in the middle stages, because the tools are there, but not everyone is completely familiar with them yet 

Come up with your own definition for each genre. Explain the purpose of each genre and how it meets the needs of the intended audience.

• I actually answered these questions in the previous block! Yay! 

• As for the definitions...

• The ism experiment 
• A scientific paper written for the general medical audience in order to explain the effect of certain organisms/treatments on other organisms
• The baby in the family of medical journal genres

• The procedure police
• A scientific paper written for other doctors that explains better ways to solve problems in the field
• The wise young adult of medical journal genres

• The Dr. Gadget 
• A scientific paper written for a medical/engineering audience that informs on new technology that will help the field
• The teen with a lot of ideas of medical journal genres

My Field of Study

Before I keep going, I should take a step back and think about what this project means to me--and how my field of study plays a role in it.

I am a Physiology major and a pre-medicine student at the University of Arizona.

"Old Main". 4/11/09 via wikimedia. Attribution Share-Alike 2.0 Generic.

What Students In My Program Learn

• How the human body works (molecular through systematic levels)

• What factors play a role in human health 

• Lots of science!

Where People Go With Their Degrees

• Many physiology majors are also pre-medicine students because the requirements align really well. 

• Most people apply to medical, dental, physicians assistant, physical therapy, and nursing schools, and hopefully get in.

• The medical field is extremely large, so a solid majority of people who earn this type of degree go into some level of it.

Why Did I Choose This Field?

• I am actually a double major. I am doing Physiology and Family Studies because I want to be a pediatrician! Or an emergency medicine physician. Or (if I can do it) a surgeon.

• Throughout high school, I absolutely loved Biology, specifically the physiology and anatomy sections, so it makes sense to major in it. The human body is incredible complex but it makes so much sense and the information is appealing and important. I love it.

• Why I want to be a doctor is a big question. There are so many reasons. I think the most effective way to sum it up is by saying I am the type of person who needs a purpose. And I don't think there is a better purpose than helping others. 

Important People In The Field

• Dr. Redmond Burke, M.D. (Cardiac Surgeon)

• More information can be found here. 

• He founded the Congenital Heart Institute at Miami Children's Hospital. He has been the lead surgeon on many first-time surgeries in the hospital, including heart-lung transplants and open tricuspid value replacement. 

•  Dr. Wirginia Maixner, M.D. (Neurosurgeon)

• More information can be found here. 

• She is leading brain stem implants and separating conjoined twins at Royal Children's Hospital in Australia and is helping bring in many new procedures. 

• Dr. Jacqueline Pongracic, M.D. (Pediatric Immunologist)

• More information can be found here. 

• She is developing a new method to help young children build tolerance to some allergies. Studies are being conducted.

Leading Academic Journals

• The New England Journal of Medicine

• Where Published
• Published by Masachussets Medical Society
• Available online and in print 

•  The Journal of The American Medical Association
• Where Published
• Published by American Medical Association
• Available online and in print in the U.S.

• The American Journal of Surgery
• Where Published
• Publish by Elsevier
• Available online across U.S. 

 

Rhetorical Analysis of Academic Journal

So I went on a journey to the library, okay. I was searching for one of the journals I mentioned on this post.

So, I'm casually hanging out in the library, okay. I've been searching for a while, but cannot find any of the three journals from before.

But I found something else that is equally awesome!

This is The Mayo Clinic Proceedings journal from July-December 1986. The journal is older than I am, but as we all know, Mayo Clinic is incredible innovative, so I'm guessing either the library did not have a copy of new editions or the journal went digital.


Hang onto your hats, because it is time for a rhetorical analysis.

• Authors

• There are about 10 entries by 35 authors in each section of the journal. There 6 total sections ranging from July to December.

• Most of the authors are doctors with medical degrees and a few work in the public health field but do not have a medical degree.

• The authors are portrayed under purely professional light. They write about clinical procedures, new proposals, experiments, etc.

• These are some title examples that show the overall tone of the articles

• "The relationship between atrial granularity and circulating atrial natriuretic peptide in hamsters with congestive heart failure"

• "Current techniques for the surgical management of malignant lesions of the thoracic esophagus and cardia"

•  "Purcutaneous transluminal coronary angioplasty: current status and future trends"

• Audience

• The audience is other doctors or professionals in the medical field.

• The detailed nature of all the articles and the use of vocabulary show this journal is meant for people who has gone through some extent of medical training or education that will allow them to understand the topic.

• A secondary audience may be Mayo Clinic administration or people who are in charge of organizing these publications. Maybe the doctors are under a contract to publish on a regular basis.

•  Context

• Doctors submit an article for peer review before it is published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings journal. From here, health care professionals across the country can read about these clinical procedures and suggestions and maybe adapt them into their own practices or continue researching.

• This affects he content because the material that goes into the journal must be deemed "useful" or "purposeful". It must provide others with a basis or understanding of concepts that will improve patient care and advance medical procedures.

• Examples of this can be found sprinkles around in "discussion" sections of articles. They all say the work presented is important and valuable.

• "Considerable interest has been focused on evaluating the risk factors associated with restenosis.."

• Message

• The overall message of the journal is that clinical procedures are complex but important to know and improve.

•  Purpose

• The purpose is to inform, share, and educate others on the role of clinical procedures. 

• This is evident in the way diagrams and tables are included to help others understand procedures. Also, the discussion sections often explain how procedures can be improved.  

Do you think this is a good medical journal? Why or why not?

My Interviewees on Social Media

Now, I will explore my interviewees' social media presence to get a fuller picture of who they are and how they communicate differently for different purposes.

"Social Media". 2/6/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Okay, honestly, I am feeling very low key stalkerish, but whatever, here we go.

Ned Premyodhin

I found him on Facebook and LinkedIn.

• Social Media Presence

• Since I am not FB friends with Ned, I am not entirely sure what he has been sharing and posting, but I can see some posts. 

• Ned posts a lot of personal pictures about his trips and adventures.

• He also shares links to articles and leaves detailed, thoughtful comments on the subject. 

• He updates his friends on the big events of his life such as graduation, starting medical school, leaving and entering jobs, etc.

• Overall, he has a warm, nice, active social media life.

• Social Media Persona vs. Academia Persona

• When it comes to discussing important issues, Ned takes a serious approach and writes clearly and effectively.

• This can be seen throughout his whole article and when commenting on links he shares through Facebook.

• However, it is important to remember he is also a regular person who jokes around. This social media persona is definitely different than the professional publication persona.

• He shared a link to a song remix with the comment "hope that play button is 18 because i've been tapping it all night".

Dr. Zoe Cohen

I found her on LinkedIn and mentions of her on Facebook.

• Social Media Presence

•  Dr. Cohen seems to generally stay away from media. I was only able to find her on LinkedIn, which is more professional. And even then, that profile is not very detailed. I gathered the following:

• She posted on her profile she is currently a Physiology professor at U of A

• She updated some of her interests (molecular biology, research, teaching)

• Social Media Persona vs Academia Persona

• I was unable to find publications so I am cannot really compare these personalities.

• It is evident Dr. Cohen generally stays away from social media though, which is something I could definitely ask about during the interview. 

Do you think I am on the right path to investigating my interviewees? What are you doing differently?

My Interviewees as Professional Writers

Now that I have identified my interviewees, I will be taking a closer look into their publications.

"Microscope". 5/24/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Ned is a medical student at the U of A, but before applying, he worked as a biomedical engineer. He was a co-author in a scientific journal that details an E. coli experiment.

• I was only able to find one publication. I will ask if others exist during the interview. The scientific journal can be found here. 

• Genre: Scientific Journal

• What makes it special: It is fantastically detailed and to the point. It has the following subsections: Abstract, Into, Methods, Design, Results, Conclusion. The purpose is to explain an experiment and share the results. 
• Formatting: APA
• Conventions: detailed, not too much white space, columns, diagrams and tables
• Content: Strictly scientific, no room for jokes here

• Context of publication

• The experiment's objective was to distinguish between E. coli strands and species through the use of their metabolic functions, as stated in the abstract
• "The models are used to determine functinal differences between strains and define the E.coli species based on common metabolic capabilities".

•  The ideas developed in the study can be useful to drug development, as stated in the discussion portion. 
• "Ultimately, this understanding can be leveraged to formulate strain and species specific drug development and therapeutic approaches"

• Overall message

• Besides providing a detailed summary and analysis of the experiment, the publication is essentially saying the topic of E. coli and species is important and should continue to be studied. 
• "In addition to this fundamental advance, the niche specific characteristics provide a basis for understanding strain and species specific parthenogenesis".

• Purpose
• To tell people this investigation needs to be taken forward!
•  "Similar studies of diverse strains for species beyond E.coli will further define the concept of a species".  

Unfortunately, I was unable to find publications by Dr. Cohen on her website. I will inquire about this during our interview.

My Interview Subjects

Like with every great story, it is time to turn the page and move on to a new chapter.
In my case, the next chapter is Project 2: The Rhetorical Investigation.

Here is a little inspiration to kick off the week!

"It always seems impossible...". 6/27/13 via flickr. Attribution 2.0 Generic.

The purpose of this project is to conduct interviews with members of my future career field and gain insight to how they use writing in their professional lives.

So, I want to be a doctor. Therefore, I am interviewing a medical student, a Physiology professor, and hopefully a pediatric doctor (I have gotten a "maybe", not a "yes" yet--still working on it).


Awesome Interviewee #1

Ned Premyodhin
Medical Student at the University of Arizona, Tucson

Ned Premyodhin, Medical Student

Click here to visit Ned's LinkedIn page.

Higher Education

• BS degree in Bio-engineering from the University of California, San Diego
• Currently earning MD from the University of Arizona College of Medicine, Tucson

Years Worked in Professional Field

• Before applying to medical school, Ned interned, volunteered, and worked in the Bio-engineering field for about 2 years
• He is now working towards earning his medical degree

Interview Details

• Thursday, March 4, 2016
• 3:30 pm
• UA Medical School Campus (AZ Health Sciences Center)

 Interview Questions

1. Why did you decide to apply to medical school after working as an engineer for a couple years?
2. In what ways do you think your undergraduate education helped prepare you for the medical school application process?
3. When and how do you use writing as a medical student?
4. Have you noticed an unbalance between digital and written forms of communication?
5. What is your favorite type of writing activity currently?
6. What are the hard aspects of writing in the medical profession?
7. In what ways do you expect writing in the medical field to change over the years?
8. What is your least favorite thing about writing?
9. What do you think is the importance of writing in medicine? How important is it?

Awesome Interviewee #2

Dr. Zoe Cohen
Physiology professor, University of Arizona

Dr. Cohen, Physiology Professor

Click here to go to Dr. Cohen's faculty member page.

Higher Education

• Not listed on website, will ask in interview
• Due to Dr. title, I can assume higher education includes an undergraduate degree and a PhD

Years Worked in Professional Field

•  Adviser for the Physiology Club since 2007
• Has been at UA since a few years before

Interview Details

• Wednesday, March 2, 2016
• 2:30 pm
• Gittings, room 106

Interview Questions

1. I was unable to find information about your education on your website. Would you mind telling me a little bit about it?
2. How often do you need to write academically for your profession?
3. What types of writing do you do? What are the genres?
4. What are the purposes of these writings?
5. Which audience do you keep in mind when writing? How does this influence the content?
6. Describe some of the appeals you use in your writing and why they are important.
7. What is your least favorite part of writing? Most favorite?
8. In what ways do you expect writing to change in this field over the next decade?
9. Do you think undergraduate courses are adequately preparing students for writing in the physiology field? Why or why not?
10. To apply to medical school, students must take two courses of higher level English to meet most pre-requisites. Do you think this is a good system, or would you alter some part of it?
11. What are your thoughts on the rise of digital communication?

I am still working on setting up a third interview. I am reaching out to doctors at Banner University Medical Center. Updates to follow!

Brutally Honest Self-Assessment

I cannot believe I just turned in my final draft of Project 1.
What. Just. Happened.
It. Is. Over.

Peters, Emma. "It's done". via odysseyonline.

How am I feeling about the project?

• For a while, I thought it was terrible. I did not think I was doing a good job at making the topic interesting for the audience. My first draft was terrible. Some people told me it was good, but I know deep down in my heart, it was pretty bad. I started to feel really good about the project this week, actually! I started massively editing and adding a lot more information. The formatting was especially relaxing in a way, because I was able to piece together the information into sections with cute subtitles and colors. After the previous weeks, being able to sit and make my project nicer to look at and read was almost therapeutic. 

• I would be lying if I said this project was enjoyable the whole time. It wasn't. There were days when I felt really stressed and did not have time to work on it. There were frustrating moments. The whole process seems almost like a storm now. Looking back, I'm like "Did I really find time to put that whole thing together?". At this time, I feel confident about what I created.

• Personal story time. As my blog title says, I really did use to want to be a writer. I wrote short stories throughout middle school. I stopped because I didn't have as much time as I wanted. And from then on, I told myself I did not have enough time to write for fun anymore. This project has shown me I can find the time. I just need the stress of an impending deadline to get me to truly prioritize writing. I am beginning to realize if I truly want to write, I will find the time. No excuses.

What are the major weaknesses of the project? Explain how and why.

• The QRG might be too long.
• I have often been told I have a tendency to over explain. I have also been told I am very thorough, which is a good thing. A combination of both of those things can probably be seen in the project. I thought all of the information I included was important and necessary, but some audience members may disagree.

• I might not always explain how the stakeholders make claims.
• I know when I addressed the Seattle City Council, I did not really know what to say about them because their involvement was short. But I think adding more information about the council would have distracted from the overall message.

• Some of the paragraphs may seem repetitive. 
• I like repeating a few key points throughout the piece for emphasis and to remind readers on what both sides of the issue believe. It is a delicate balance.

What are the major strengths of the project? Explain how and why.

• I thoroughly explain the stakeholders and their claims.
• I outline the major demands of the UWHA and then in parallel outline in the next subsection, I analyze if the demands are reasonable and explain why the UWHA feels these changes need to be made. I think this allows for the goal of the controversy postmortem to be met.

•  The Hyperlinks and Further Reading Section
• I add a good amount of hyperlinks and directions to other sources that will allow readers to continue researching the topic.

•  Good information flow and extensive knowledge of topic
• I think I am a credible author because I outline the controversy in a logical, flowing way and I provide hyperlinks to sources. 
• I do a good job at explaining the background info such as who a medical resident is, what they do, and how they get paid. This is essential to understanding the controversy. I also explain the demands of the UWHA thoroughly and why they believe the current system is unfair.

How did time management go? Did I give the project enough time and effort? Procrastination?

• Time management was difficult. I did not have time to work on the project every single day, but I did my best.
• I read all the directions for blog posts as soon as they were posted so I had a rough estimation of how long the posts would take and when I would have adequate time to complete them.
• I wrote down ideas of what I would include in blog posts even if I did not actually publish the post until days later. 
• For the most part, I guess I liked spending the majority of the week working on my other classes so I could spend the bulk of my Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday homework time working on the project.
• I found that working on this project in bulks of time was more effective because I felt less rushed and more concentrated.
• I devoted a good amount of time and effort to this project. If I were asked if I could have spent more time, I would probably say yes. But if I were asked if I did not spend enough time on it, the answer is a definite no. I set aside time that worked for me to complete the project.
• I did procrastinate a little bit. But I was still responsible and completed my work on time.

What are your thoughts on Project 1?
 

Local Revision: Variety

The final stages of local revision are approaching!

"Keyboard". 9/13/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

In this post, I will examine variety in sentence structure and vocabulary.


How much variation in sentence structure? Are there any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns? 

• Most of my draft contains compound sentences. I have a tendency to include a lot of clauses and phrases. Whenever I do not continue a sentence for like 5 years, it is very direct, simple, and short.
• I begin many sentences with the subject, such as "Doctors..." or "Medical residents...". I think I do this because it helps me get to the point faster, but it is also unfortunately repetitive and boring.
• I have a few compound-complex sentences. I have a good balance of these so far. Due to the conventions of a QRG. I do not think it is a good idea to contain a lot of compound-complex sentences within the writing. 
• To improve sentence variety, I will switch the subject, verb, object order for some sentences to make the passages more active. I will also try to cut out the unnecessary clauses in compound sentences.

What have you learned about the way you transition between paragraphs?

• I tried to follow the QRG conventions too closely, so my draft does not have very effective transitions between paragraphs. There is a logical passage between ideas though. I stayed away from adding lead-in and conclusion sentences to my paragraphs because I thought this would add unneccessary fluff. But I think I should reconsider adding some lead-in sentences to help paragraphs flow better.
• I must be a huge fan of the word "the", because I use it as the first sentence for most of my new paragraphs. I need to switch the subject, verb, order sequence for all of the introductory sentences in paragraphs.

Is there variety in vocabulary? Strengths and weaknesses of vocabulary in draft? 

• I add some lively verbs and adjectives every now and then, but I do not use an "impressive" vocabulary word. My draft sounds a bit too technical, to be honest.
• Strengths
• I use correct terminology when talking about the medical residency system.
• I make the passages easy to read.
• Weaknesses
• I lack fancy vocabulary in my draft.
• The text is boring to read at parts because I am missing cool words.

How can I fix the lack of variety in my draft?

Local Revision: Pronoun Usage

Looking over the pronoun usage throughout my draft was a good way to gain insight into my writitng style and what needs more work.

"Student typing". 2/12/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I am not particularly happy with the pronoun usage, but I admit I could have done worse.
These are the key take-away messages from my revisions:

How effective is pronoun usage in the draft? What does this examination tell you about your writing style?

• My pronoun usage is effective in the way that I generally stay away from using "they" or "them" too much, which reduces confusion among the relationships between the controversy and the stakeholders. I think using those pronouns lightly and clearly allow the audience to follow the story easier.

• My pronoun usage is not effective in the way I overuse "doctors" and "residents". It makes sense that I use these the most, because residents and doctors are the main characters in the story, but to make the QRG flow better and be more interesting, I should use a variety of pronouns to describe these characters.

• This examination style tells me I am good at making my story clear and I avoid using pronouns that make the story confusing, but I should use a larger variety of pronouns to make my project more interesting.

Do you refer directly to the audience at any point? If not, why? Explain why you chose to leave your audience out of the writing?

• I am rather surprised by this question. I did not refer to my audience directly at any point because I did not even think of that option. I thought the project wanted the writer to only deliver facts and analysis on the story and stakeholders to the audience, without any type of bias. Addressing the audience diretly definitely has its pros and cons.

• After some thought, I think I am going to avoid addressing the audience directly until maybe the very last sentence of the piece. While I am giving information on the controversy, I do not want to address the audience because I do not want to seem biased. I also do not want to distract from the story. I think it is important to let the audience gather their own thoughts and opinions while reading without being addressed by me. This way, when I do address them in the last sentence, I will know I did not influence their opinions in any way.

• I will address the audience directly at the end in a form of an open ended question or a decision question that will prompt them to think of how they would deal with the type of situation presented in the controversy.
• Would you consider ranking UW on your residency match list?
• What do you think is the best way to reach a compromise between these stakeholders?
• How can this problem be solved?

What are the pros and cons of including an audience reference in a piece?

My Pronouns

Moving along with the train of local revision, the next stop is pronouns!

This is important because the pronouns used to address the stakeholders can influence the audience's perception of the story.

Rubensson, Fredrik. "Writing". 7/20/13 via flickr. Attribution Share-Alike 2.0 Generic.

Here is a list of all the pronouns I used in my QRG draft along with who the pronoun is referring to.

• doctors (residents and physicians)
• Medical administration (UW)
• themselves (medical staff)
• people (medical staff)
• medical resident (doctors)
• they (residents)
• doctors (residents)
• doctors (residents)
• medical residents (at UW)
• residents (at UW)
• UWHA
• they (residents)
• they (residents)
• they (residents)
• they (residents)
• nurses (at UW)
• residents (doctors)
• young doctors (residents)
• UWHA
• incoming doctors (medical school graduates)
• UWHA
• UWHA
• UW (administration)
• UWHA
  employees (residents at UW)
• residents (at UW)
• they (residents)
• they (UW administration)
• Seattle City Council
• residents (at UW)
• residents (at UW)
• she (Katie B.)
• he (Andrew K.)
• he (Graham S.)
• organization/they (Accredited Council for Graduate Medical Education)
• they (residents)
• they (physicians)
• staff (doctors)
• UWHA
• UW admin
• they (residents)

How can I minimize the usage of some of these pronouns?

Local Revision: Passive and Active Voice

I always considered myself a strong writer. And then my senior year of high school happened. That is the year I realized how prone I am to use the dreaded passive voice. It is something I have struggled with since.

"Typewriter". 6/21/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

So, I divided the verbs from my draft once again. This time to show how I use the passive and active voice in my writing.

Here is the table:

Are the actions in your piece mostly general, vague or non-specific? Are the actions mostly vivid and specific? Are there instances of passive voice? Summarize what you learned by analyzing your verb usage in this way.

•  The action verbs I use are mostly non-specific and vague, and unfortunately passive. I have some specific action verbs, but not enough to make my QRG interesting and exciting. I think a lot of my verbs are passive because I am describing a lot, and not explaining enough. Once I add more analysis of the stakeholders and the ways they make their arguments, my QRG will have more active verbs.
• I learned that I still struggle with staying away from the passive voice. In order to improve my piece, I definitely have to change sentence structure and rewrite entire sections so they fit the purpose of the project and allow for usage of more active verbs. 

Based on this analysis, how could your use of verbs be improved overall in the project? Be specific and precise in explaining this.

•  I can improve my draft's overall verb usage by analyzing more and describing less. I also need to rethink the purpose of the project. I think I am more focused on summarizing and explaining the situation instead of analyzing why and how the stakeholders feel and make their arguments. Once I start explaining the stakeholder's views, the actions should by nature of the content be more active. 

How do you suggest I fix this problem?

Local Revision: Tense Usage

Now that I have observed verb usage, the next step is to observe how I use tenses of verbs throughout my draft.

"Office". 1/22/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

This is a table of the verbs and in what tenses I used them.

Most used tense

• The present tense

Effect Current usage has on draft

• I think this is a good verb tense distribution because the issue I am examining is supposed to be in the present and have been going on for a while, that is why the past and present tenses should be the most used. Since the issue has not been resolved yet, I do not have as much to say about the future. The verb tense distribution has a sort of urgent and appealing effect on the draft because the audience is given a sense of "wow, this is happening, right now" 

Do the shifts between tenses make sense and flow?

• Absolutely. I like to alternate between past and present most because a lot of what has happened with the controversy took place in the recent past, but there are still steps being taken today, right now, in the present. In order to meet the purpose of the assignment, it is imperative that I can incorporate both tenses into the storytelling. Also, in order to give closure, I have tot talk about what the future holds. 

Importance of present tense verb usage

• This is an important technique to utilize because it brings the reader right to the action and issues surrounding this controversy. No one cares about stuff that happened 500 years ago in their job field as much as something that is happening right now. 

 What do you think of this balance between the three tenses?

My Verbs

Verbs, verbs, verbs. Action, action, action. It's something we never really think about--our way of portraying action and how we say it?

I gathered all the verbs I used for my draft, and the results re surprising.

Niabot. "Magnifying glass". 5/20/11 via wikimedia. Attribution Share-Alike 3.0 Unported.

Verbs used:

found, see, analyze, handling, completed, earned, participate, dictate, participate, matched, work, trained, conduct, work, work, unionized, created, wish, ensure, gathered, ask, argue, asking, compensated, improve, addressed, explain, citing, entering, advocating, secure, shared, read, determined, released, highlights, continues, explain, paid, paid, acknowledged, willing, negotiate, published, encouraging, cooperate, support, stating, provide, listened, increased, proceeded, reaching, struggles, stressed, stress, shares, focuses, sinking, passed, prohibited, reduce, enact, finding, growing, anticipated, negotiate, form, value


Verbs used more than once:

Work (III)
Participate (II)
Ask (II)
Explain (II)
Paid (II)
Stress (II)
Share (II)
Negotiate (II)


So what:

• I tend to repeat a verb within two consecutive sentences! I never realized I did this. I can probably get rid of those second sentences to make my draft flow better.
• I don't repeat verbs as often as I thought, which is also surprising.

What do you think the significance of verb usage is?

Local Revision: Wordiness

To kick off my local revisions, I am going to condense the information presented in my wordiest paragraph.

"An open book" via Shutterstock.

Original Paragrpah:

Medical residents are doctors who have completed medical school and earned their medical degree. During the graduation months, they participate in “match days”, which dictate what residency program the doctors will participate in for three or more years. Once doctors are matched to a residency program, they work at their assigned hospital. During their time there, the doctors are trained by attending physicians on how to conduct procedures, tests, and how to generally work in a hospital effectively. Due to Libby Zion law, residents cannot work more than 80 hours a week, but this does not include on call hours or paperwork hours. The average annual salary for medical residents in the U.S. is $50,000-$70,000 depending on the residency and location.



Revised Paragraph:
Medical residents are doctors who have completed medical school. Before graduation, they participate in “match day”, which dictates what residency program the doctors will participate in for three or more years. During their time there, the residents are trained by attending physicians on how to conduct procedures, tests, and how to generally work in a hospital effectively. Due to Libby Zion law, residents cannot work more than 80 hours a week, but this does not include on call hours or paperwork hours. The average annual salary for medical residents in the U.S. is $50,000-$70,000 depending on the residency and location.


Reflection

• From the perspective of the audience, the revised paragraph is easier to read because it is slightly shorter, and does not have unnecessary phrases and clauses like the original. 
• I think it is slightly better wit the revision because it is more to the point. But it is slightly worse because I am realizing how much the words padded the information to make it seem like there was more than there actually was. I have to apply this method of revision to my entire QRG in order to make it effective.

What do you think about this local revision?

Peer Review 2

This week has been eerily relaxing because I am able to see the work of others and think about how to improve my own. Honestly, this peer editing stuff is fantastic.

Johnathon, James. "Raccoon is Excited...". 11/22/12 via inquisitr.

I edited Emily's Podcast and completed this rubric.

I edited Payton's QRG and completed this rubric.


What I Learned About my Project

• Editing another QRG gave me a better idea of how to organize my own in a more effective way. I was also able to see the effect of more personal pictures and quotes on the overall text.

• Editing a project done in a different genre gave me a better idea of what the purpose of the project is.

Top 3 Issues

• I need to add more pictures! I have decided to add the following pictures to my own draft:
• Of the residents working at UW
• Seattle City Council
• UW Administration

• I need to analyze more deeply how the different stakeholders make their claims and whether or not their claims are valid.

• I need to increase my credibility by adding more sources or organizing my QRG more effectively to better show the progression of the issue.

Top 3 Strengths

• Good array and organization of hyperlinks

• Address all sides of issue, which helps establish credibility

• Explain issue in simple terms and have engaging personal stories about individual residents (which I should continue to build upon)

Plan of Action to Improve

• I need to rethink the organizational structure of my QRG. I should play around with columns, headers, themes, fonts, sizes, picture locations. I need to make it more aesthetically pleasing. 

• I should reread a couple sources and add more information on how the stakeholders make their claims and if they are valid. I also need to research the more political side.

• I need to include a better, more detailed introduction that stimulates the five senses.

Even though my first draft is completed, there is still a lot to be done!

Do you have any tricks for formatting a QRG?

Peer Review 1

I reviewed Sarah's fabulous QRG, and completed a rubric with comments and feedback.

 

"Work in Progress". 9/15/13 via wikimedia. CCO Public Domain.

Reviewing her draft told me one important thing-- I need to better organize my own QRG! I really liked the way she organized the entire thing and how she was able to make her introduction both informative and interesting. In my draft, I still need to make my subheadings flow properly and expand on my introduction. After looking at Sarah;s draft, I realize my use of rhetorical questions and hyperlinks is also going well.

• Two mistakes I want to avoid

• Lack of creative title
• I liked her title "SB277: The New Vaccination Law in California", because it is straight forward and relatively short, so the reader knows exactly what to expect. However, after reading the rubric, I have realized a creative title is necessary. So I have to work on my own title

•  Unequally distributed hyperlinks
• Sarah did a great job at remaining objective, but there were some cases where I thought it seemed like she was leaning more to one side than the other. Two main stakeholders were those who opposed the bill and those who supported the bill. There were more hyperlinks used in sections about the bill supporters, so as an audience member, I had more information about this stakeholder, which could influence my thoughts on the issue. I see this issue in my QRG as well, so I will need to fix that this week.

• Two effective A+ choices

• Great use of pictures
• The QRG looks spaced out and has a good amount of pictures involved, which makes the whole thing easy on the eyes and interactive. I currently have one picture in  my QRG, so I will need to add more.

• Awesome introduction
• It informs and interests the reader. I like that it serves as a kind of background segment before the discussion. It is like a 30 second flashback monologue before a season finale of a TV show, in a way. By the end of the introduction, I thought I knew enough about the topic to be able to really think about the stakeholders and other components of the issue. 

Draft of Project 1

After of hours of planning, researching, organizing, questioning, thinking, anlayzing, and countless other adjectives, I have constructed my first draft! But really, the end of production week is really the beginning of post-production week. The finish line is really just the start line.

Hurley, Andrew. "Start and Finish line". 9/25/11 via Flickr. Attribution Share Alike 2.0 Generic

The link to my QRG is here!

I have to warn you, I focused on content for the draft instead of look, so some of the conventions of a typical QRG may be missing.

I think I have created a somewhat disorganized QRG. There is probably a better way to organize my topics and utilize the white space. My goal is to analyze the styles of the three main stakeholders and what techniques they utilize to form and communicate their arguments.

I am trying to figure out a way to make the QRG more aesthetically pleasing to look at. I do not want it to look just like a glorified blog post, so I was wondering if anyone knew any good sites to create images, charts, diagrams, etc, that will help me complete that section for the QRG conventions?

One concern I have had throughout the semester when I write blog posts is the length of the posts. I want to be as thorough as possible, which ends up with me writing a lot. I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to minimize word count while getting the entire, thorough message across?

I would appreciate any type of feedback, but if possible, I would like specific help on the following:

• Am I writing too much? How can I minimize word count?

• Am I repeating certain phrases too often? (Does the general piece sound boring?)

• Are there certain aspects of the rhetorical analysis I am not addressing enough or not addressing correctly?

• How can I best utilize pictures and diagrams to make the QRG more interactive or fun to read?

• What is the overall tone of the QRG, and should I change it?

Thanks everyone! Hope your projects are going well!

Stakeholder #3

You might be wondering "who makes the rules" in the UW hospitals system, and what their role is in the controversy. There are two organizations that contribute to the regulations.

"A view of campus". 4/12/08 via wikimedia. CC0 Public Domain.

The University of Washington Medical School Administration is in charge of facilitating the school and making sure everything functions smoothly. Whether the sun rises or sets over the space needle, it is their job to ensure the hospitals affiliated with the university are content, safe, and thriving. Although the people working for the administration touch paper, computers, and hear the sounds of staplers and printers, it is their duty to ensure the doctors in UW affiliated hospitals can confidently touch medical equipment and comfortably walk through the halls.

The University of Washington is nationally recognized for it's top-tier medical school, so the pressure to ensure everything runs according to plan is always in place. The administration therefore is seen as serious and punctual by students and staff. It is diligent and productive, while maintaining health interrelationships among staff and students.

The medical school administration also works alongside the Accredited Council got Graduate Medical Education (ACGME), which analyzes physician work environments and suggest ways to improve learning and patient care. These two groups generally work together to ensure the hospitals affiliated with UW are safe and physicians are being taught properly. To the public, ACGME is like a wise advisor who proposes new ways to improve work environments.

Specific Claims (All excepts from reply to petition)

• "Residents and fellows are not 'employees' for purposes of Washington labor law".

• Even if the residents and fellows can be deemed to be employees, Washington's statutory framework for collective bargaining rights has not been extended to cover them".

• "The University compensates residents and fellows by paying them an annual stipend, which is intended to defray the cost of living and other expenses during training...The stipends are tiered to the individual's training year, not to the hours worked, to participation in patient care, or to the specific residency program".

Validity of Claims

• The document cites state law on status of employees, seems credible.

• However, in the next section, it uses "even if", as in implying they are not entirely sure, but even if the residents are considered employees, they have a different reason for not meeting the requests, this lowers credibility

• This statement serves as logos, it logically explains the process of stipends and why residents are not paid specifically for the work they do, but rather as a whole for their training. This appeals to the audience because it is credible (since they know how their schools function) and logicial.

Similarities and Differences from other Stakeholders

• ACGME and the UWHA share the mission of making work environments safe for physicians as well as patients 
• ACGME put into place a regulation that physicians should not exceed 80 hour work weeks, which the UWHA does not have a problem with, but they do have a problem with pay rates and the fine lines of the regulation(on call hours are not included in the limit)

•  City Council and ACGME agree physicians do valuable work, but City Council wants to see pay raises and a change in regulations

Do you think it would be easier to focus on only one of these organizations, instead of both?

The Time Period

If you've ever seen the movie The Butterfly Effect, you've probably pondered how some events in real life affect other events, and so on and so forth.

In order to understand why and how the issue I have chosen built momentum, I need to know what else was happening in the world. I need to gradually zoom out of my story to see where it fits into the world.

I am focusing in events that took place between the Spring 2015 and Spring 2016, due to the timeline of my story.

Deutsch. "Earth". 12/14/11 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Local News

• Nurses have been protesting UW Medical Center due to low wages issue. 
• Terrible crash occurs and injured taken to Harborview Medical Center.

National News

•  Senate approves a bill that alters the way Medicare doctors are taken. 
• There has been an increase in the malpractice suits in the U.S.

Global News

• Zika virus is affecting medical procedures in South America. 
• Medical funding is decreasing in medical field across the U.S. despite global successes

In Seattle, nurses working in a UW affiliated hospital are protesting the hospital because they believe their wages are not fair compensation. The medical residents and UWHA of UW affiliated hospitals are also expressing similar concerns, so these protests may have encouraged the residents to continue to unionize and ask for changes in pay rates and regulations. Also, there was a big crash in Seattle, and the injured people were taken to the Harborview Medical Center, which is affiliated with UW. It is extremely probable that numerous residents were working on these patients, which might have reinforced their beliefs that they are being overworked and underpaid. Overall, UW affiliated hospitals have been busy.

In the U.S., Senate has approved a bill that changes the pay of doctors for Medicare, which may have prompted conversation about money distribution. And an article was published that explains the rising rates of medical mistakes and malpractices. The medical community has been facing this issue recently. This may have helped the issue move forward because medical residents are often overworked and sleep deprived, which leads to mistakes being made. Overall, the national medical field has been facing issues that can have several causes, including the overwork of residents.

Globally, the Zika virus has been traveling through South America and has caused ethical dilemmas for doctors treating pregnant women who stand the chance of passing the virus on to their children. I am not entirely sure how this would connect to the issue I am researching, but it is a huge global issue occurring at the same time. Also, the U.S. is cutting medical funding for research. The U.S. plays a role in global research and advancement, so many programs are being cut, which could affect how residents and other professionals view the health care field.


Do you think there are other events I should research??