Peace Out

Hey everyone!

I have finished making edits and revising my essay! I am just waiting for the dropbox to open so I can submit it and be done :)

Thank you all for a wonderful semester. I don't think any combination of words can accurately describe how stressed I was. But I learned so much....it was definitely worth it.

I am grateful I had the opportunity to rediscover some old passions and become a better well-rounded person.

Anyways, its been real. Have a wonderful summer wildcats ;)

Bianca

Peer Review 15 (for Mariana Chacon)

This is my final peer review for the semester! I have to admit, I did not always feel like time was on my side this semester, but I always liked peer review. I like seeing how people create and structure their projects different according to their own personalities and goals.

"Approve" via giphy.

 

For this review, I looked at Mariana's standard essay and left a content suggestion. This is her blog post, and this is her draft.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Include quotes or sources that show progression of time management

• blog posts! specifically the reflections at the end of each major project

• Write a little bit about how the internal writing processes changed

• content, style, what section write first

I think Mariana will find my comments helpful, because I explained the parts of her essay that were done wonderfully and the parts that need a bit more work. I suggested she write about internal changes in her writing process, because I think this will help her be more thorough and detailed. She has a lot of great ideas and writes a lot about time management. That is her major theme. She explains how it affected her writing process, but I think her essay would benefit from an explanation of how it also affected the internal components.

How I incorporated course materials:

I definitely looked at the Project 4 Guide. I left suggestions based on the purpose of the assignment, which is to explain how your writing process has changed due to different factors. We are able to choose which factors to write about. Since Mariana put a large emphasis on time management, I wanted to make sure she was answering all the questions that the guide tells us to.

I also looked at the Student's Guide "questions to ask" section, which suggests how to maximize sources and evidence. I thought Mariana could benefit from adding quotes of herself throughout her process to really show the audience how he felt after each project and how these feelings changed.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I really liked the tone she used in her essay, especially in the introduction. In general, the introduction is strong because it uses an appropriate tone, starts with a story, is easy to relate to, and introduces the main theme. In my introduction, I focus a lot on the pre-109H story. I can learn from Mariana's tone and incorporate something similar into my essay.

Editorial Report 15b

So, now that my rough cut has been completed, it is time to start to editing process.

"Writing". 7/3/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I decided to use the second paragraph for this post, because it is the longest. I want to shorten it and fix instances where I may be unclear.


Rough cut selection

I arrived in college with a naive idea of renewal. I moved away from home, my graduating class was spread out across the country, I had new curtains. It appeared to me as if everything was different and everything was new. Two weeks into the year, I began to feel the same dull acceptance that haunted my high school years. I still felt like I didn’t have time. True, I did have “more time” because I had less classes per day, but I also had more responsibilities. I still always feel rushed and time was still not working for me. Time management has always been a struggle for me. I cannot begin to count the times I have showered at 3 am, completely wrecked my sleep schedule, didn’t eat for days. Throughout this semester, my time management skills have remained constant, but my attitude and strategy have changed. Looking over my production schedules from project 2 to project 4, I can see that I have become more honest with myself on how much I can actually accomplish in a set time. I also began giving myself “buffer days”, so I can have extra time to work on what I have already completed or to catch up on something I missed. I’ve finally starting to become more realistic with my time and started to spread my time out. My strategy has always been to sit myself down and work for a crazy amount of hours. For project 3, I spent 14 hours working on it non-stop, then didn’t touch anything for several days. Although I have made this process work and I still complete my work on time, it drives me crazy. I temporarily lose my mind. So I have started to structure my time in smaller chunks so I can have better control of the final product. I also can’t do everything. I’ve realized that. When am I ever going to have perfect time management skills? Never. Just no. There will never be a day when I have a perfect system, especially if I want to be a doctor. I have to be organized, flexible, and use my time wisely, but there will never be a “perfect” way. My issue is that once I write something down on my planner or schedule, I am reluctant to change it. It is as if I have been shaping myself to fit the time, when I should be making the time work for me. My blog reflection posts also show this. With each passing project, I wrote about how I became calmer despite my limited time. I have accepted that I will always struggle with time, but I need to make it work for me now. Sometimes, I will need those 14 hour non-stop days. Other times, I will need one 20-minute session daily. It’s all about judging the amount of work I have and the time I realistically have. I learned in project 2 that communication and flexibility are absolutely essential to success in the medical field, so it is important for me to adapt to a new mindset.

Re-edited selection

I arrived in college with a naive idea of renewal. I moved away from home, my graduating class was spread out across the country, I had new curtains. It appeared as if everything was different and everything was new. Two weeks into the year, I began to feel the same dull acceptance that haunted my high school years. I still felt like I didn’t have time. Although I had less classes per day, I had more responsibilities. I still felt rushed and time was still not working for me. Time management has always been a struggle for me. I cannot begin to count the times I have showered at 3 am, completely wrecked my sleep schedule, didn’t eat for days. My time management skills have remained constant, but my attitude and strategy have changed. Looking over my production schedules from project 2 to project 4, I began giving myself “buffer days”, so I can have extra time to work on what I have already completed or to catch up on something I missed. My strategy has always been to sit myself down and work for a crazy amount of hours. For project 3, I spent 14 hours working non-stop, then didn’t touch anything for several days. Although this process sometimes works, it drives me crazy. I temporarily lose my mind. So I have started to structure my time in smaller chunks so I can have better control of the final product.

I have also become more honest with myself on how much I can actually accomplish in a set time. I can’t do everything. I’ve realized that. When am I ever going to have perfect time management skills? Never. Just no. There will never be a day when I have a perfect system, especially if I want to be a doctor. Yes, I have to be organized, flexible, and use my time wisely, but there will never be a “perfect” way. My issue this semester was that once I wrote something down on my planner or schedule, I was reluctant to change it. I have been shaping myself to fit the time, when I should be making the time work for me. My blog reflection posts also show this. With each passing project, I wrote about how I became calmer despite my limited time. I have accepted that time will never be in excess, but I need to make it work for me now. Sometimes, I will need those 14 hour non-stop days. Other times, I will need one 20-minute session daily. It’s all about judging the amount of work I have and the time I realistically have. I learned in project 2 that communication and flexibility are absolutely essential to success in the medical field, so it is important for me to adapt to a new mindset.


How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?

• I kept most of the content. I have everything that I needed

• I got rid of unnecessary phrases like "to me" and "throughout the semester". They were wordy and added unnecessary length to the paragraph

• I rephrased some sentences for clarification

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I decided to split this into two paragraphs

• I realized that I was talking about realistic time goals, and then I quickly switched to talking about buffer days halfway through. This did not flow very well, so I decided to make a paragraph about realistic time and another for buffer days

• This helps the content because using smaller paragraphs is easier on the eyes. This also helps my ideas connect better

• Using less wordy sentences also helps with the flow and makes the overall message clearer

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

It's completely crazy to think this is my last rough cut of the semester. I still remember the panic I left on the first day of class when we went over the syllabus and I realized just how much work I would have to do.

But we made it through...

"Because we're smart". via gifirific.

Anyways, its been a fun semester. I really did enjoy it. Half the time I was very stressed, but the other half, I was genuinely enjoying the projects. Each one allowed me to be creative and learn effective communication.

The link to my rough cut can be found here.

Key Information (Please help me with the following...)

• Please help me come up with a creative title!

• What should I keep? What should I get rid of?

• The most important thing I want to know is what sections give the best information in the best way? I am going to shorten the essay, but I am interested in knowing what parts I should definitely keep.

• Is my tone appropriate? Is the essay too relaxed or too formal?

• Is there any other content I should include?

Major Issues

• Length, I will shorten it later

• I use the word "things" a lot. This is a major no no, but I didn't know how to phrase some sentences at the time 
• I am trying to figure out what tone to best use

• I do not know what content is the most effective and meets the project requirements yet

Major Strengths

• I am thorough in my explanations and logically explain my points

• I have a good introduction that shows how I felt before coming into the class, and it captures my personality

• My conclusion summarizes what I have learned and why it is important

• I bring everything back to my writing process and explain how it has been affected

Editorial Report 15a

In this post, I will be showing a revised version of production report 14b. This section just completely destroyed whatever vibe my introduction paragraph had, so it needs to be fixed ASAP.

The feedback I received for this paragraph made me realize I sound like I am writing a lab report since I am being a bit impersonal and not utilizing the tone and personal details well.

"Typewriter". 7/2/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Rough cut selection

One of the most evident changes in my writing style has been the content and the overall technique. Throughout the semester, I became more confident in my communication abilities, which is shown in the genres I chose. I started with the QRG, which was very similar to the type of writing I did in high school, it was very text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which was in its own way text heavy, except then I had to record it. Next, I tried the video essay, which required more commitment and a developed style. This slow yet effective progression of involvement in my projects allowed me tp notice which areas I was strong in (content, creativity, details) and which areas I lacked in (volume, authority). So as my creativity in projects increased, the content and topic I chose narrowed. For project 1, I wrote about issues the residents at the University of Washington were having. For project 2, I wrote about writing in the medical field, specifically at the University of Arizona medical school. And for project 3, I proposed for some solutions to the issue of voluntourism. I modeled my solutions after the structure of the U of A's MedLife chapter, which I observed during my trip. One issue I have seen present in my writing throughout the years is that I tend to pick large subjects, then have a lot to talk about, which makes my projects longer. In general, I much prefer slightly broader topics because it allows me more freedom to choose what to talk about and emphasize. I write the way I like to photograph. I will start with a big picture, then zoom into the details, then zoom out again to reveal the larger significance. I am probably doing that with this paper right now as well. But as the projects for this class progressed, I found myself needing to pick smaller topics with a specific context that I could analyze. Because of this, my writing style became more specific to the situation. Although it seems like a tiny change, this is a significant experience for me, because I usually don't change certain aspects of my writing style, like the way I center the content and message. In some way, I have grown to feel comfortable with different styles and smaller topics, which leads to different uses and types of writing. These skills will be beneficial in both my academic and personal life.


Re-edited selection

Truth be told, sometimes I think I can be rather lazy. Surprisingly, the progression of my project and writing choices throughout the semester tell me otherwise. The amount of writing I have done in college is severely less than what I did in high school. So naturally, the first project I picked was the QRG, since it is the most text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which is essentially a spoken essay. Next, I tried the video essay, which is more creative and incorporates more features (audio, text, still image, video) than any other genre. I didn't even want to touch this standard essay until I absolutely had to (here I am now). I was in honors and AP English for so many years, it is hard to break out of that mindset. I have certain ideas of what I think writing should look like and what conventions to follow. It was a bit strange to suddenly find myself jumping into projects that require the same work from me, but in different ways. I've never been a strong public speaker, anyone that knows me can testify to this sad truth. This semester forced me to take my writing and vocalize it over and over again. Was it exhausting? Yes. Did I like it? Not entirely. Did I learn from this? Absolutely. As I am writing this now, I am imaging how I would put all this information in the form of a video essay. It has been incredibly refreshing to think beyond the "point, evidence, analysis" of the AP world. There are many different ways to express the same information depending on the context. That is among the biggest things I have picked up this semester. I am pretty lowkey done with all these essays and am completely open to new ways of communication. In addition, I have also noticed that I have committed to smaller, more specific topics. Honestly, I can commit to things. It might not seem like it, but I totally can--except when it comes to writing! I always prefer these massive, huge topics because I like having a lot of room to explore the topic in different directions and to talk about a lot of aspects o a topic. With project 1, I chose to look into residents at the University of Washington. Good, I picked a specific place. But then for project 2, I picked the University of Arizona first year student body (specifically Ned) and Physiology department (Dr. Cohen) to look at. Great, a narrow topic with specific people involved. And for project 3, I focused on the UA MedLife chapter and my specific experiences. This was a big deal for me, because it was a smaller topic, so I didn't have room for the "exploratory possibilities" that I held so dear to my heart. But in the end, I realized having smaller topics allows more room for my opinions and more in depth analysis and discussion. It is also much easier to digest information about a specific story instead of the whole collection in a series. I learned how to frame my writing in much more productive ways.


How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?

• I only kept the main ideas! I kept the information about the project topics, genre choices, and my thoughts on the progression of choices.

• I got rid of everything else. The original content was unnecessarily wordy and did not flow well at all. I had just finished writing a ton of lab stuff before I wrote the raw content last week, so I think that probably affected my mindset and made this paragraph sound so weird.

• I decided to re-write this paragraph as if I were talking to a friend instead of just explaining this to some random person. So I included shorter sentences and phrases I use in my daily life.

• I think the content is being more effectively conveyed because it is less formal, more friendly, and overall easier to read.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• The length is about the same, which helps keep the form neat. I tried to not make it too long or too short.

• I used shorter sentences to make the tone sound friendlier and less formal.

Peer Review 14 (for Elizabeth Hernandez)

Wow, I cannot believe it is a Thursday night, and I am actually peer reviewing. Usually, I am just starting to post stuff on Thursdays, but now I am done for the week! Where was this attitude in February?

"Retro". 3/29/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I left an outlining suggestion on Elizabeth's Content Outline for her QRG. Her post can be found here, and her outline here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Add input on how her writing style has changed throughout the course

• Elaborate on the internal writing along with the process 

• Add gifs, pictures and links to her QRG

• Add notes to her outline that state how and where she will use the conventions

I think my suggestions will help Elizabeth think of her growth as a writer under a different perspective. It will be interesting to explain how her writing style has changed internally in addition to how it has changed externally, which she discusses throughout her outline (time management, personal care, motivation, etc).

I think suggesting she add notes on conventions is important, because it will make production a lot easier! The QRG was one of my favorite genres because the conventions just flow well and allow for the content to be expressed thoroughly. So, the conventions should definitely be kept in mind when writing.

How I incorporated course materials:

I left my suggestions based on the Project 4 Guide. I wanted to ensure Elizabeth was on the right track, which she is. She is talking about how different factors and aspects of the class have changed her writing process. I also left suggestions based on personal experience with the QRG and what I learned about working and producing in that genre.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

Elizabeth was very thorough and very organized. When I made my content outline, I used the requirements from the blog post instructions and went with it. I realize now that may not have been the best option because it limited my creativity and makes me outline seem dull in a way. I can definitely learn from the way she chose to format her thoughts and was able to link them back to her writing every time.

Production Report 14b

Producing raw content from a content outline has me feeling like that episode of spongebob where he stares at a paper for a long time without knowing what to do, then ends up just writing "the". I mean, same.

"Spongebob essay" found on Tumblr.

But nevertheless, I got it together, so here is another report from a different section of my outline.

Content Outline

• Content and effort
• Main Idea: The content of each project I have completed has become progressively narrower and has changed my writing process.
• Evidence: I started with the QRG, then podcast, then video essay
• What it proves: I was most comfortable with QRG because it is similar to writing, less comfortable with podcast because I could kind of hide, and least comfortable with the video essay. I gradually opened myself up as a writer and personalized my projects as the semester progressed. 
• Why important: It shows I have become more comfortable in my communicating skills and am open to trying new things.
• Evidence: I started with a university, then my university, then a section of my university.
• What it proves: I have learned the art of narrowing a subject and thoroughly analyzing it to zoom out into the bigger. I usually like to start big, go small, go even bigger. It's a weird process, but I make it work. 
• Why important: I am changing my writing style in slight ways that I am thought were written in stone already. My stubbornness has been broken.

Raw Material

One of the most evident changes in my writing style has been the content and the overall technique. Throughout the semester, I became more confident in my communication abilities, which is shown in the genres I chose. I started with the QRG, which was very similar to the type of writing I did in high school, it was very text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which was in its own way text heavy, except then I had to record it. Next, I tried the video essay, which required more commitment and a developed style. This slow yet effective progression of involvement in my projects allowed me tp notice which areas I was strong in (content, creativity, details) and which areas I lacked in (volume, authority). So as my creativity in projects increased, the content and topic I chose narrowed. For project 1, I wrote about issues the residents at the University of Washington were having. For project 2, I wrote about writing in the medical field, specifically at the University of Arizona medical school. And for project 3, I proposed for some solutions to the issue of voluntourism. I modeled my solutions after the structure of the U of A's MedLife chapter, which I observed during my trip. One issue I have seen present in my writing throughout the years is that I tend to pick large subjects, then have a lot to talk about, which makes my projects longer. In general, I much prefer slightly broader topics because it allows me more freedom to choose what to talk about and emphasize. I write the way I like to photograph. I will start with a big picture, then zoom into the details, then zoom out again to reveal the larger significance. I am probably doing that with this paper right now as well. But as the projects for this class progressed, I found myself needing to pick smaller topics with a specific context that I could analyze. Because of this, my writing style became more specific to the situation. Although it seems like a tiny change, this is a significant experience for me, because I usually don't change certain aspects of my writing style, like the way I center the content and message. In some way, I have grown to feel comfortable with different styles and smaller topics, which leads to different uses and types of writing. These skills will be beneficial in both my academic and personal life.


How did you use form to present content? How did the conventions of the genre influence choices?

• I tried to structure this paragraph using the PEA format. This is when you present a point, then include evidence, and write analysis to support. It is very similar to the AP writing way, which means it is effective, but not as creative as it can be.

• I varied sentence length and included transitions to add some flow to the paragraph.

• I mostly wrote in a confident/reflective tone to get my message across.

How did production go? What challenges, successes, epiphanies occurred during the process?

• Producing this paragraph was more difficult than producing the introduction.

• I feel like I have less room to be creative or to use a fun tone in this paragraph, because I am reflecting and explaining my areas of growth. I don't see a more creative way to do this.

• One success is that I have identified the areas I want to talk about and reflect upon.

• But at the same time, I do not know if I am headed in the right direction.

 

Production Report 14a

And here is where the magic happens.

I wrote everything in one go, without stopping or editing. This truly is in all ways, completely raw.

I have produced the introduction from my content outline. I feel good about it now, but I will probably end up making a lot of corrections to the tone, word choice, and direction. But, this is what I have now.

"Laptop". 5/21/14 via pexels. CC0 Public Domain

Content Outline

• Talk about how I supposedly had tested out of English with AP
• I've always considered English o be my strength
• my stories were always chosen as the examples for elementary school 
• friends and old tutees continue to ask me to peer review their writing
• it was the academic strength I brought to my friend group
• English has always been the subject that required me to analyze and think emotionally rather than logically in some ways, so it has definitely stood out as a subject
• I think I learned more in this class than I have in other English classes 
• I like how it is more focused on communication instead of literature analysis
• I have picked up and strengthened skills

Raw Material

Allow me to paint a picture. I existed as a young, aspiring, over-worked but hopeful high school senior not too long ago. It was a fantastic time, kind of. I had finished my testing and finals, and I knew the year before, I earned a 5 on the AP English test. "You won't have to take English in college", they said. "You're such a good writer Bianca, I never doubted your abilities", they said. English was the subject I most fondly remember from school, because it always clicked. Rhetorical analysis, argumentative presentation, styles of writing, poetry, creative writing. So then, life went on as normal. I opened at work most summer mornings, spent too many nights out, didn't think about school. Orientation came along and my counselor placed that simple paper in front of me--a list of requirements. "Oh, there must be a mistake", I said. "I've already tested out of English". "No, you still need to take 109, and you should take it in the Spring", he responded. I've always valued honesty, so I am just going to say that I was not happy. I had been mentally checked out of the English word for what I thought would be forever. And here I was, being pulled back in. Nevertheless, I got over it, and I began to grow slightly excited. And now that the semester is coming to an end, I am realizing how much I have learned and how many skills I have acquired. I enjoyed the fact that this class is heavily based on communication and research in the writing process. It was different in its own way. There are many aspects of my writing process that have improved, both externally and internally.

How did you decide to use form to present the content? How did the conventions of the genre influence your choices?

• I think this paragraph is an appropriate length for an introduction, so I focused on keeping my thoughts to that length.

• I tried to vary my sentence length so that the content did not sound boring and monotone.

• Essays are supposed to have some kind of hook or interesting beginning, which I tried to do through storytelling.

How did the production of raw material go? What kinds of challenges, successes, epiphanies occur during the process?

• Production of raw material for this project is definitely the easiest of all the projects. This is probably due to the genre and content.

• One success is that I am on track with my production schedule! This is a first for the production reports.

• Another success is that I just let my raw content be raw. With other projects, I thought my raw material was going to be too bad for public sharing, but now I feel like that's fine.

• One challenge is that it took me a while to get started because I did not really know what to say. Intros are always hard.

Content Outline P4

This is the last content outline! (ahh)

"Planning". via dreamstime.

In my production schedule, I have put time aside on three different days to make modifications to my content outline.

I have a lot of thoughts and ideas for this project, so I know my content outline will be changing,

My content outline can be found here.

Production Schedule P4

So, is is Monday again. It's time to start another project again.

But this time, I am making it my goal to finish all my work early. This project will require me to work with the genre I am most comfortable with, the standard college essay. I am ready to begin!

"Clock". 3/24/08 via Flicker. Attribution 2.0 Generic.

My production schedule can be found here.

It's funny how I have planned everything accordingly and have even left myself a "Catch-up day". Totally wild. I am determined to get everything done during this production week!

For this project, the pre-production and production stages are put into the same week. So I will try to get all the production reports and blog posts done early this week, then I will work on making my "rough cut", which is not due until next week.

Yay for productivity!

Revised Post for Peer Reviewers

Hello, friends.

I have taken lots of advice and have edited like crazy. In this post, I will share my fine cut, which is probably going to be the final version I turn in.

"Editing". 1/15/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

 Key information

• I have changed the direction of my argument so the information is presented in a different way than before. I am focusing more on introducing a problem then suggesting solutions.

Major Strengths

• I think I use video, audio, music, text, and still images well, which helps the video flow well.

• I also use a variety of resources to help meet the genre conventions. 

Major Weaknesses

• The volume of the voice-over and the music inserts are not even. The music is louder than the voice-over, which is a tad bit annoying.

• I think my voice overall could be better and clearer.

Fine Cut

The link can be found here.

Peer Review for Emily Bond

I looked into other sections for my second peer review. At this point, I am very familiar with all the genres, so I looked for a combination of form and content that I feel I know some stuff about and can leave detailed feedback for.

There were many interesting topic and projects, but in the end I chose to leave copy editing and re-design suggestions on Emily's QRG fine cut on child obesity, which can be found here.

"Writing". 5/1/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Move everything to Microsoft Word

• This will make formatting so much easier! 

• Frame some of the important phrases and your claims in a different color and larger size to add more visual appeal and to add clarity

• Address the counterargument of who is in charge of the specific lunches: Michelle or schoolboard

• If Michelle's program-state this to strengthen argument

• If board is not creative-respond to this to establish your credibility and strengthen your argument

Overall, I think my feedback helped Emily with both the form and her content. She has everything she needs, except for a counterargument response. By addressing a counterargument, I think she will demonstrate how much she knows about the topic and will further show why her argument is valid. Since I have already produced a QRG, I know the conventions pretty well. I suggested she add color and more emphasis on certain quotes. This will make certain information pop out more and overall strengthen her claims.

How I incorporated course materials:

I used the Project 3 Guide the most, to ensure she was following the assignment. This prompted me to mention the counterargument, because I felt like an important one was missing.
I also looked at the QRG examples on D2L to re-familiarize myself with the conventions and know what to look for when reading her QRG.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I admire Emily's sense of confidence throughout her QRG. She always wrote professionally, kept it ot the point, and made it easy to read. I want to incorporate that sense of authority throughout my projects and hope people also find that I sound relatively confident.

Peer Review for Kelly Reager

Now that Project 3 is essentially coming to an end, it is beneficial to do one last round of peer review, to ensure everyone is on track to successful submission of their final cut.

For my first peer review, I left a content suggestion on Kelly's standard college essay, which can be found here.

"Home office". 5/19/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Include counterarguments

• Technicalities of location

• UAPD protocol

• There are more serious problems

• Include other background info

• Who is in charge on UA Alerts?

• What is the process of sending one?

• Details of the email response

I think my feedback will help Kelly focus on another very important aspect of her project-- the counterarguments. Addressing these concerns properly will help her develop more credibility as an author and will show her audience that she has thoroughly researched the topic and knows it very well, but she still heavily believes in her argument. I also suggested she add more background information to help the logistics of her argument. More details are always better.

How I incorporated course materials:

I incorporated materials from the Project 3 Guide and from the Student's Guide. I wanted to ensure Kelly's draft was on track to meet the requirements of the assignment, because I feel like sometimes we get too caught up in the details and lose the "bigger picture". I know I had this issue earlier. The Student's Guide helped me know what to look for--credibility, logic, emotion. Those key ideas formulated the basis of my responses.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I really admired Kelly's tone and writing style! The introduction hooked in the audience and showed Kelly had a genuine interest in her topic. I especially like the use of "we" and other sentence structures that create a sense of unity among UA students.

Reflection on Post Production II

It's over. I have officially finished Project 3, my video essay. I can relax now--haha, except I can't because the final month of school is hitting me hard.

Found on Tumblr.

I came into the study room this morning, and now it is almost midnight. I've been here for hours. I had an energy drink at some point. I think I was outside at some point. Study groups came and went to neighboring rooms throughout the day. And, I, a lone student, have out-studied them all. Reality seems a bit distorted right now tbh.

But really though, I feel like the toughest project is behind me. And I feel okay with it.

What were some of the successes?

• Um, I got through the week. That is definitely a success.

• I think I was able to incorporate text, audio, music, video, and still images in a good way. My video essay flowed and was easy to follow.

• I kept the video under 10 minutes!! Anyone who is familiar with my projects knows I have a tendency to go on and on and push the time limits. I'm glad I was able to keep it short this time.

• Since the beginning of the semester, I knew the video essay was going to be the toughest genre for me, but the public argument was going to be relatively easy, because I've done them before. I'm glad I have finished this project.

What were some of the challenges?

• I always tell myself I am going to make time work for me, but it just doesn't happen the way I want it to. I spend the necessary time I need to, but I do in in large chunks. I wanted to work on this project every day for small time increments, but that did not happen. I do not think that affected the quality of my project, though.

• Piecing the text, audio, music, video, and images was more work than I thought it was going to be. Everything had to be timed perfectly and organized well. The local revision stage took a long time because of this.

• I had some trouble centering my argument halfway through the process. I figured out I was heading in the wrong direction, so I had to rewrite some sections of my outline.

How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

• Next week will be a lot easier! The public argument was very time consuming because it was research intensive. The video essay was also time consuming because it required a lot of resources and organization. 

• I feel like the toughest parts of the class are now behind me.

• The only genre I have left is the standard college essay, which is the genre I am most comfortable with because I have years of experience with it. 

• I am definitely ready to start the self-reflection and to wrap up the skills I have strengthened and talk about what I have learned. It's going to be a good time.

How are you feeling about the project at this point?

• Honestly, I am proud of the project I produced. I have not created a video essay before, so I think I did a good job with this one. I incorporated the genre conventions and formulated an argument with lots of support and evidence.  

• I wish I could have more time to further keep making improvements. I feel like with these projects you can never edit enough because there are always more effects you can use.

Editorial Report 13b

Editing is always a difficult task because when I am producing content, I think about my options for a long time and then decide how to organize the material. And once I commit to that, I often do not want to change things up.

For this segment, I knew what my weak spots were, so I worked on fixing those issues,

"Demonstration". 3/18/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

This is probably the last edit I will make before I add it to my final cut.

Rough version:

Revised version:

How did the content change? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively?

• I added a slide stating "Some background information", this serves as a transition between sections and organizes my argument, the audience is able to follow along

• I also added a concluding slide where I share the Medlife website, which is the organization I traveled with and that I am talking about

• This gives the audience a little place to relax and pause and maybe look up some additional information if desired before continuing

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I kept the form mostly the same because I liked the zooming in of the pictures and the array of transition, I think the overall presentation of this segment is easy on the eyes, which helps with audience engagement

• I added some upbeat music to the beginning and end, this more effectively communicates the content because it reflects the tone of my argument, and sets a mood for the audience to follow

Editorial Report 13a

At this point, I have been working on the same content for weeks.

I edited one of my segments for the second time and have produced the third version of it.

"Home office". 5/19/13 via pixabay. CC0 Pubic Domain.

This is the final version I will include in my fine cut.

Rough version:

Revised version:

How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?

• The content did not change. I did not add any new information to this section because I think I already have a good amount. I also do not want to distract from this message. 

• I tend to make things longer, so I am glad I am keeping this section short and sweet. In the end, I think this makes the content communication more effective.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I changed the font to more appealing fonts and colors

• I changed the caption texts to be more colorful and contain more transitions

• The content is presented more effectively because the form is more aesthetically pleasing to the eye and therefore easier to follow along

Peer Review for Diego Alcantara

For my second peer review this week, I looked into the work of students in other sections.

I left a content suggestion on Diego's Rough Cut for his podcast, which can be found here.

"Headphones". 6/18/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Elaborate on last section about counterargument, it seems rushed

• Expand the conclusion, explain the "so what"

• Introduce yourself in the beginning, what you are doing, and why you care

• Start recording ASAP, it is surprisingly time consuming no matter how detailed the script 

I hope my suggestions help Diego identify what sections are the weakest and need most help. This will help with planning the upcoming week.

How I incorporated course materials:

I mostly left suggestions based on the Project 3 Guide to ensure Diego had all the requirements. I feel like an issue I personally had with my project was not centering my argument enough, so I wanted to bring attention to this issue. I also looked in the First-year Writing Guide and left comments on how to piece the information together through effective transitions.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I liked Diego's tone and voice throughout his script. He was informative but also friendly in a way. He explained the security issues through an analogy, which was particularly effective because it helped the audience better understand the background. I can definitely learn from this because I tend to over explain things, which makes my projects longer. I will try using analogies or simplifying things the way Diego did.

Peer Review for Sienna Willis

One of the most effective tools in English is peer review, because this allows for interactive communication and is a learning process for everyone involved.

"Pencils". 4/9/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I chose to leave a content suggestion on Sienna's Rough Cut for her standard college essay.

Her post can be found here and her essay can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Sienna asked for title suggestions and I said she should consider "I am not a Barbie girl, but I do live in a Barbie world", as a play off the song. Idk why this was the first thing to come into my mind, but hopefully that inspires her in some way

• She should expand on the bridge between the last body paragraph and the conclusion because the ending is abrupt

• Change some sentence structure to more clearly deliver the "a good idea is great.." argument, it is kind of confusing what type of argument is being presented at first

I hope my title suggestion helps Sienna find a title she likes. And I hope my commentary on what sections were weaker than others helps her organize her time so she can create a stronger essay.

How I incorporated course materials:

I left suggestions based off the Project 3 Guide, because I wanted to ensure Sienna was following all the requirements. I know I struggled with staying on topic and meeting the requirements presented on this document, so I wanted to make sure she was too. I also went off what I learned in previous English classes concerning the "flow" of essays.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

Sienna started her essay strongly. The introduction clearly contains her voice as a writer. The imagery about her childhood days sets the stage for a strong argument and all the details she includes in the first body paragraphs establishes her credibility. I can definitely learn from this. For next week, I want to work on expanding my introduction and personalizing it so I can also convey my voice in the project.

Reflection on Post-Production I

There is nothing like Sunday nights to make me contemplate my life choices. I start thinking of all that I have to do and what I did and didn't do well the previous week. I usually end up looking at myself like

Found on pinterest.

It's that point in the semester when only quotes from The Office can really describe how I feel.

So, lets talk about this week's work!

What were some of the successes?

• I made creative choices. This is difficult for me. But I decided how I want to deliver the information and in what sequence along with which filters and photo transitions

• I had time to explore Windows Movie Maker and through some intense trial and error, I was able to align the voice-over with the right photos and text

• So, the rough cut isn't perfect. But I did realize exactly what sections need work and I have started thinking about how to fix those issues. This will make next week easier

• I gathered more pictures and videos for the project, so now I have an even wider array of choices than before

 
What were some challenges?

• Time!! As always, time was not on my side. I spent a lot of it figuring out the tools on Windows Movie Maker and just messing around with it to get all my options

• I realized I did not know my topic as much as I thought I did, so i had to do more research and find more sources to build a more rounded argument

• I don't know what was up with my voice during recording, but it does not sound too good. I am unsure if it is me or the recording system, I have to look into that

• The transitions between segments were difficult because I didn't really know what to say, so I added text to make it easier to follow

How do you think next week will go based on your experiences this week?

• I am not entirely happy with my current project, so I know next week will be dedicated to some heavy editing. 

• I do have the little details down, I just need to figure out how to piece it all together. The content needs to be revised more to produce a more centered argument and the form should be edited a bit to make the video essay more engaging.

• I do feel more comfortable with the topic though, so next week I should be pretty calm about this if I give myself enough time.

How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

• I'm cool about it. I know it is not where I want it to be, but I do know what I need to work on, so everything is good. 

• I think I chose a good topic and project to work on the video essay. This is the genre I was looking forward to the most, so I am glad I chose it now.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

The time has come to share the dreaded rough cut. But seriously though, this is extremely rough and will probably change drastically.

"Cinema". 11/5/12 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

 My goal is to make something that is as nice to look at as that picture. But I am not there yet.


What you should know

• My voice is pretty bad here, I will definitely fix it. I wasn't feeling well at the time

• I want to know if the video is centered, easy to follow, and informative

•  Is my message clear?

• I recently went on a volunteer trip to Peru, so this topic is something I care about exploring. I am being careful to reduce my bias

Major weaknesses

•  My voice, I need to speak up in some areas and keep the volume more even

• I should spend more time addressing the counterarguments

• This is VERY short. I do not know I am going in the right direction and honestly, I'm lost

Major strengths

• I use a variety of pictures, which helps give the video a pleasant tone and easy to follow

• I use transitions between pictures and sections to keep the audience engaged

• I think my introduction is pretty solid, I talk about who I am, what I am doing, and why I care

The Video Essay Rough Cut (ahhhhh)

Editorial Report 12b

I edited another section of my rough material and tried to make it more interesting. I also have better control over my voice now so hopefully is sounds better!

"Filmstrip". 3/9/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I was unsure of how much detail to include about the trip I went on. I want to add this information so the audience knows why I care and to establish credibility because I will be talking about the experience I had along with the evidence.

I want to know if this section is effective at all? If not, how can I further edit it?


Selection from rough cut:

Re-edited selection:

How did the content change? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively?

• I shortened the part where I talk about my personal reason for going on the trip. Instead, I talk about who the group of volunteers are in general and why our career goals match the mission of these volunteer organizations.

• I feel like this is more effective, because it explains the reasons for going quickly.

• I also added a briefer summary of how clinic and project days were run. 

• This is more effective because it summarizes the hours we worked and what we did. 

• I might add a mini calendar thing to this to make it easier to visualize the week.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I added text, which helps the audience follow along with what I am saying.

• I edited the picture order that I used so that the pictures displayed on the screen match the activity I am describing. This makes it way easier to follow along!

• I added some transition effects between pictures, which is more visually appealing and keeps the audience engaged.

Editorial Report 12a

I am totally aware of the fact that my rough content is not my best work. I consider that to be a practice run because I was not sure what I was doing.

So I edited the section where I talk about identifying voluntarism on social media and how sharing an experience is different from "bragging" about it.

"Clapper board". 11/3/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Hopefully, this re-edited version is better than the rough version. But believe me, I will still massively edit this in the upcoming week, it is still not where I want it to be.


Selection from rough cut:

Re-edited selection:

How did the content change? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively?

• I added a transition section! I connected the concept of voluntourism to where these people can be found and how not everyone that posts about their trip is evil. 

• I kept the same screenshots of the posts I chose last week.

• I also added a transition from the screenshots to the next segment where I will be talking about social media.

• Adding these transitions make my message a lot clearer and allow me to sound more opinionated and invested in this topic.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I added text to the slides! I think I will re-do this to put the text over an actual picture instead of just a purple background, but the convention is there, so that's good.  

• I also added text to the screenshots to pick out the key words and help the audience focus on one phrase from each post, but still leaving the option of reading the whole post if desired. 

• I also fixed my voice a bit and stopped reading from a script so I think I sound more natural.

• This is overall much more effective because it is easier on the eyes and ears and allows the audience to focus more.

Peer Review for Julia Davenport

Since I did a podcast for my previous project, I have a lot of knowledge on the form and content requirements, and want to share some of my discoveries with others. 

"Headphones". 9/19/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I peer reviewed Julia's podcast production report on homelessness and left a form suggestion, which can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Break up the recording into smaller segments so the editing of final product is easier

• Add ideas of sound effects and music transitions to content outline to incorporate these features later in the process

• Add section of personal connection to establish credibility

I think I was able to help Julia by suggesting ways to make post-production easier. I know this was a difficult thing for me to do because I had absolutely no idea how to create a podcast or how to edit audio. It was frustrating, so I wanted to give her a few tips on what would make the final product creation easier.

How I incorporated course materials:

I used the Project 3 Course Document from D2L for most of my commentary. Since Julia has a detailed outline, I wanted to make sure she was incorporating everything she needs to. I noticed she had logical and emotional appeals, but was missing credibility appeals through a personal connection. I suggested she add this. I also used my experience with podcasts to leave advice.

One thing I admired and can learn from: 

Julia used emotional and logical appeals in an effective way. She started by telling the story of a man who shared his experience of panhandling and then jumped into the facts of homelessness. This did not take up much time, so it kept the audience engaged and interested. I can definitely learn from this, because I think I always over explain things, which makes my projects a bit long.

Peer Review for Missy Webb

Throughout high school, essays were essentially my life. I wrote piles upon piles of essays for AP classes and what not.

It has really taken me by surprise that I have not had to write a single essay this semester. I've written a ton of lab reports, but no standard English essays.

What surprised me even more is that I don't want to write an essay! Because I've written so many, that is the genre I am definitely most comfortable with, but where's the fun in that?

I am no longer in the "essay mind mode", so I thought it would be good to peer edit a standard essay, so I can get back into that kind of organizational thinking.

"Laptop". 2/14/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I chose to leave a content suggestion on Missy's Production Report for her standard essay, which can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• State what her connection is to the topic either in the first paragraph or the introduction to establish credibility with the audience

• Add more commentary in between the facts to explain the significance of the facts to the audience

• Add concluding and introductory sentences to make the paragraph flow

I think I was able to help Missy by suggesting she add more commentary to strengthen her voice and to add something about why she cares about this topic. I think both of those suggestions will help strengthen her voice and build her credibility. She incorporated the facts nicely and with ease, but the paragraph will be stronger if she adds a few things.

How I incorporated course materials:

I left suggestions based off the "Questions to consider when giving feedback" section of the Student's Guide to First-Year Writing.
I turned to this source specifically for ideas on how to peer edit the use of sources and use of evidence. Since Missy's paragraph had a lot of facts, but not enough analysis, I thought suggestions in these areas would be the most beneficial.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

Missy did a wonderful job researching the topic, selecting the best facts, and incorporating them into her writing. I know when I do research, I feel like every piece of information is important so I try to cram it all into the essay. She only picked out 3 big facts that give her enough to talk about to keep the audience engaged and make her point. I can definitely learn from this.

Reflection on Production

Sigh, another week is gone and I survived yet again. This week was difficult in a diferent way though. I had to really think about my topic and make creative decisions and I am just not good at making those.

Found on Tumblr.

Michael Scott just understands me as a person. This picture is me. This. Right here. Like, same.


What were some successes?

• I was able to finish revising my content outline and narrowing down more sources to use.
• I downloaded Windows Movie Maker and started playing with it a but to try and figure out how to use it.
• I have a lot of resources to use for pictures!
• The exporting for video is much easier than for audio, so that made me extremely happy. It is quick and simple and does not make me question my life choices. 10/10 would recommend

What were some challenges?

• Technology is not my friend, using Windows Movie Maker was still somewhat difficult.

• I did not understand how to change the properties of individual photos or how to add pre-recorded voice-over segments. It was interesting.

• I also had to choose how to organize the content to meet the video essay conventions. There were a lot of possibilities, and I have a tendency to not be able to commit to one idea.

How do you think next week will go, based on your experience this week?

• Next week will be more frustrating, because I still do not have a complete grasp on my argument.

• I am still not comfortable using Windows Movie Maker so I will have to spend some time looking for other video editing software and trying to figure out how to use those. They might even turn out worse. Who knows?

• I will need to really set aside a lot of time next week to think about what direction I really want to head into and rethink the way I am outlining my content.

How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

• Um, honestly, I am feeling very nervous right now.

• I knew this was going to be the hardest project, but now I am starting to doubt my ability to create a decent video essay.

• I looked forward to this assignment because I had this whole vision in my mind of what effects to use and how to center my argument, but now it seems harder than I thought.

• I definitely have to focus on what direction I want my argument to take and how to vivedly express the genre conventions!

Production Report 11b

I really did not think it was possible for me to create something that makes me cringe in the depths of my soul. But I have done it, haha. I am very lost in this process, but I am learning....

"Start-up". 3/27/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

This is the content outline:

• Opening (a portion of it)
• Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a doctor. That is, has always been, and will always be, the dream. So, as a college freshman, I gathered my savings from past summer jobs and I booked a trip to Lima, Peru.
•  What is MedLife?
• Volunteering during Spring Break
• We helped provide medical, dental, and gynecology services to a lot of people from across Lima.
• We started clinic days at 8 am and ended at 3 pm. We traveled to a different location every day to ensure we provided services to as many people as possible.
• We also helped build s staircase in a community where a steep slope cause trouble for children and adults.

This is the raw footage:

How did you decide to use form to present your content? How did the conventions influence your choices?

• I used images from the internet as well as images I took myself for this segment. The conventions of the video essay led me to pick a lot of pictures and to do voice-over.

• I tried to keep this as short and to the point as possible, because video essays are supposed to be succicient, but I do not really think this was effective...

• I presented my content in a story mode but I do not think I had the right tone. I definitely have to work more on this.

How did production go? What challenges occurred during the process?

• Okay, apparently I am just not meant to deal with any kind of editing software. I have no idea what is going on on Windows Movie Maker....how the heck was 12 year old me better at using this than 18 year old me? Outrageous.

• Finding the content for this segment was easy, but putting this super rough and pretty bad video together was complicated.