Peer Review for Emily Bond

I looked into other sections for my second peer review. At this point, I am very familiar with all the genres, so I looked for a combination of form and content that I feel I know some stuff about and can leave detailed feedback for.

There were many interesting topic and projects, but in the end I chose to leave copy editing and re-design suggestions on Emily's QRG fine cut on child obesity, which can be found here.

"Writing". 5/1/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Move everything to Microsoft Word

• This will make formatting so much easier! 

• Frame some of the important phrases and your claims in a different color and larger size to add more visual appeal and to add clarity

• Address the counterargument of who is in charge of the specific lunches: Michelle or schoolboard

• If Michelle's program-state this to strengthen argument

• If board is not creative-respond to this to establish your credibility and strengthen your argument

Overall, I think my feedback helped Emily with both the form and her content. She has everything she needs, except for a counterargument response. By addressing a counterargument, I think she will demonstrate how much she knows about the topic and will further show why her argument is valid. Since I have already produced a QRG, I know the conventions pretty well. I suggested she add color and more emphasis on certain quotes. This will make certain information pop out more and overall strengthen her claims.

How I incorporated course materials:

I used the Project 3 Guide the most, to ensure she was following the assignment. This prompted me to mention the counterargument, because I felt like an important one was missing.
I also looked at the QRG examples on D2L to re-familiarize myself with the conventions and know what to look for when reading her QRG.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I admire Emily's sense of confidence throughout her QRG. She always wrote professionally, kept it ot the point, and made it easy to read. I want to incorporate that sense of authority throughout my projects and hope people also find that I sound relatively confident.