Peer Review 14 (for Elizabeth Hernandez)

Wow, I cannot believe it is a Thursday night, and I am actually peer reviewing. Usually, I am just starting to post stuff on Thursdays, but now I am done for the week! Where was this attitude in February?

"Retro". 3/29/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I left an outlining suggestion on Elizabeth's Content Outline for her QRG. Her post can be found here, and her outline here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Add input on how her writing style has changed throughout the course

• Elaborate on the internal writing along with the process 

• Add gifs, pictures and links to her QRG

• Add notes to her outline that state how and where she will use the conventions

I think my suggestions will help Elizabeth think of her growth as a writer under a different perspective. It will be interesting to explain how her writing style has changed internally in addition to how it has changed externally, which she discusses throughout her outline (time management, personal care, motivation, etc).

I think suggesting she add notes on conventions is important, because it will make production a lot easier! The QRG was one of my favorite genres because the conventions just flow well and allow for the content to be expressed thoroughly. So, the conventions should definitely be kept in mind when writing.

How I incorporated course materials:

I left my suggestions based on the Project 4 Guide. I wanted to ensure Elizabeth was on the right track, which she is. She is talking about how different factors and aspects of the class have changed her writing process. I also left suggestions based on personal experience with the QRG and what I learned about working and producing in that genre.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

Elizabeth was very thorough and very organized. When I made my content outline, I used the requirements from the blog post instructions and went with it. I realize now that may not have been the best option because it limited my creativity and makes me outline seem dull in a way. I can definitely learn from the way she chose to format her thoughts and was able to link them back to her writing every time.

Production Report 14b

Producing raw content from a content outline has me feeling like that episode of spongebob where he stares at a paper for a long time without knowing what to do, then ends up just writing "the". I mean, same.

"Spongebob essay" found on Tumblr.

But nevertheless, I got it together, so here is another report from a different section of my outline.

Content Outline

• Content and effort
• Main Idea: The content of each project I have completed has become progressively narrower and has changed my writing process.
• Evidence: I started with the QRG, then podcast, then video essay
• What it proves: I was most comfortable with QRG because it is similar to writing, less comfortable with podcast because I could kind of hide, and least comfortable with the video essay. I gradually opened myself up as a writer and personalized my projects as the semester progressed. 
• Why important: It shows I have become more comfortable in my communicating skills and am open to trying new things.
• Evidence: I started with a university, then my university, then a section of my university.
• What it proves: I have learned the art of narrowing a subject and thoroughly analyzing it to zoom out into the bigger. I usually like to start big, go small, go even bigger. It's a weird process, but I make it work. 
• Why important: I am changing my writing style in slight ways that I am thought were written in stone already. My stubbornness has been broken.

Raw Material

One of the most evident changes in my writing style has been the content and the overall technique. Throughout the semester, I became more confident in my communication abilities, which is shown in the genres I chose. I started with the QRG, which was very similar to the type of writing I did in high school, it was very text heavy. Then, I moved onto the podcast, which was in its own way text heavy, except then I had to record it. Next, I tried the video essay, which required more commitment and a developed style. This slow yet effective progression of involvement in my projects allowed me tp notice which areas I was strong in (content, creativity, details) and which areas I lacked in (volume, authority). So as my creativity in projects increased, the content and topic I chose narrowed. For project 1, I wrote about issues the residents at the University of Washington were having. For project 2, I wrote about writing in the medical field, specifically at the University of Arizona medical school. And for project 3, I proposed for some solutions to the issue of voluntourism. I modeled my solutions after the structure of the U of A's MedLife chapter, which I observed during my trip. One issue I have seen present in my writing throughout the years is that I tend to pick large subjects, then have a lot to talk about, which makes my projects longer. In general, I much prefer slightly broader topics because it allows me more freedom to choose what to talk about and emphasize. I write the way I like to photograph. I will start with a big picture, then zoom into the details, then zoom out again to reveal the larger significance. I am probably doing that with this paper right now as well. But as the projects for this class progressed, I found myself needing to pick smaller topics with a specific context that I could analyze. Because of this, my writing style became more specific to the situation. Although it seems like a tiny change, this is a significant experience for me, because I usually don't change certain aspects of my writing style, like the way I center the content and message. In some way, I have grown to feel comfortable with different styles and smaller topics, which leads to different uses and types of writing. These skills will be beneficial in both my academic and personal life.


How did you use form to present content? How did the conventions of the genre influence choices?

• I tried to structure this paragraph using the PEA format. This is when you present a point, then include evidence, and write analysis to support. It is very similar to the AP writing way, which means it is effective, but not as creative as it can be.

• I varied sentence length and included transitions to add some flow to the paragraph.

• I mostly wrote in a confident/reflective tone to get my message across.

How did production go? What challenges, successes, epiphanies occurred during the process?

• Producing this paragraph was more difficult than producing the introduction.

• I feel like I have less room to be creative or to use a fun tone in this paragraph, because I am reflecting and explaining my areas of growth. I don't see a more creative way to do this.

• One success is that I have identified the areas I want to talk about and reflect upon.

• But at the same time, I do not know if I am headed in the right direction.

 

Production Report 14a

And here is where the magic happens.

I wrote everything in one go, without stopping or editing. This truly is in all ways, completely raw.

I have produced the introduction from my content outline. I feel good about it now, but I will probably end up making a lot of corrections to the tone, word choice, and direction. But, this is what I have now.

"Laptop". 5/21/14 via pexels. CC0 Public Domain

Content Outline

• Talk about how I supposedly had tested out of English with AP
• I've always considered English o be my strength
• my stories were always chosen as the examples for elementary school 
• friends and old tutees continue to ask me to peer review their writing
• it was the academic strength I brought to my friend group
• English has always been the subject that required me to analyze and think emotionally rather than logically in some ways, so it has definitely stood out as a subject
• I think I learned more in this class than I have in other English classes 
• I like how it is more focused on communication instead of literature analysis
• I have picked up and strengthened skills

Raw Material

Allow me to paint a picture. I existed as a young, aspiring, over-worked but hopeful high school senior not too long ago. It was a fantastic time, kind of. I had finished my testing and finals, and I knew the year before, I earned a 5 on the AP English test. "You won't have to take English in college", they said. "You're such a good writer Bianca, I never doubted your abilities", they said. English was the subject I most fondly remember from school, because it always clicked. Rhetorical analysis, argumentative presentation, styles of writing, poetry, creative writing. So then, life went on as normal. I opened at work most summer mornings, spent too many nights out, didn't think about school. Orientation came along and my counselor placed that simple paper in front of me--a list of requirements. "Oh, there must be a mistake", I said. "I've already tested out of English". "No, you still need to take 109, and you should take it in the Spring", he responded. I've always valued honesty, so I am just going to say that I was not happy. I had been mentally checked out of the English word for what I thought would be forever. And here I was, being pulled back in. Nevertheless, I got over it, and I began to grow slightly excited. And now that the semester is coming to an end, I am realizing how much I have learned and how many skills I have acquired. I enjoyed the fact that this class is heavily based on communication and research in the writing process. It was different in its own way. There are many aspects of my writing process that have improved, both externally and internally.

How did you decide to use form to present the content? How did the conventions of the genre influence your choices?

• I think this paragraph is an appropriate length for an introduction, so I focused on keeping my thoughts to that length.

• I tried to vary my sentence length so that the content did not sound boring and monotone.

• Essays are supposed to have some kind of hook or interesting beginning, which I tried to do through storytelling.

How did the production of raw material go? What kinds of challenges, successes, epiphanies occur during the process?

• Production of raw material for this project is definitely the easiest of all the projects. This is probably due to the genre and content.

• One success is that I am on track with my production schedule! This is a first for the production reports.

• Another success is that I just let my raw content be raw. With other projects, I thought my raw material was going to be too bad for public sharing, but now I feel like that's fine.

• One challenge is that it took me a while to get started because I did not really know what to say. Intros are always hard.

Content Outline P4

This is the last content outline! (ahh)

"Planning". via dreamstime.

In my production schedule, I have put time aside on three different days to make modifications to my content outline.

I have a lot of thoughts and ideas for this project, so I know my content outline will be changing,

My content outline can be found here.

Production Schedule P4

So, is is Monday again. It's time to start another project again.

But this time, I am making it my goal to finish all my work early. This project will require me to work with the genre I am most comfortable with, the standard college essay. I am ready to begin!

"Clock". 3/24/08 via Flicker. Attribution 2.0 Generic.

My production schedule can be found here.

It's funny how I have planned everything accordingly and have even left myself a "Catch-up day". Totally wild. I am determined to get everything done during this production week!

For this project, the pre-production and production stages are put into the same week. So I will try to get all the production reports and blog posts done early this week, then I will work on making my "rough cut", which is not due until next week.

Yay for productivity!

Revised Post for Peer Reviewers

Hello, friends.

I have taken lots of advice and have edited like crazy. In this post, I will share my fine cut, which is probably going to be the final version I turn in.

"Editing". 1/15/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

 Key information

• I have changed the direction of my argument so the information is presented in a different way than before. I am focusing more on introducing a problem then suggesting solutions.

Major Strengths

• I think I use video, audio, music, text, and still images well, which helps the video flow well.

• I also use a variety of resources to help meet the genre conventions. 

Major Weaknesses

• The volume of the voice-over and the music inserts are not even. The music is louder than the voice-over, which is a tad bit annoying.

• I think my voice overall could be better and clearer.

Fine Cut

The link can be found here.

Peer Review for Emily Bond

I looked into other sections for my second peer review. At this point, I am very familiar with all the genres, so I looked for a combination of form and content that I feel I know some stuff about and can leave detailed feedback for.

There were many interesting topic and projects, but in the end I chose to leave copy editing and re-design suggestions on Emily's QRG fine cut on child obesity, which can be found here.

"Writing". 5/1/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Move everything to Microsoft Word

• This will make formatting so much easier! 

• Frame some of the important phrases and your claims in a different color and larger size to add more visual appeal and to add clarity

• Address the counterargument of who is in charge of the specific lunches: Michelle or schoolboard

• If Michelle's program-state this to strengthen argument

• If board is not creative-respond to this to establish your credibility and strengthen your argument

Overall, I think my feedback helped Emily with both the form and her content. She has everything she needs, except for a counterargument response. By addressing a counterargument, I think she will demonstrate how much she knows about the topic and will further show why her argument is valid. Since I have already produced a QRG, I know the conventions pretty well. I suggested she add color and more emphasis on certain quotes. This will make certain information pop out more and overall strengthen her claims.

How I incorporated course materials:

I used the Project 3 Guide the most, to ensure she was following the assignment. This prompted me to mention the counterargument, because I felt like an important one was missing.
I also looked at the QRG examples on D2L to re-familiarize myself with the conventions and know what to look for when reading her QRG.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I admire Emily's sense of confidence throughout her QRG. She always wrote professionally, kept it ot the point, and made it easy to read. I want to incorporate that sense of authority throughout my projects and hope people also find that I sound relatively confident.

Peer Review for Kelly Reager

Now that Project 3 is essentially coming to an end, it is beneficial to do one last round of peer review, to ensure everyone is on track to successful submission of their final cut.

For my first peer review, I left a content suggestion on Kelly's standard college essay, which can be found here.

"Home office". 5/19/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Include counterarguments

• Technicalities of location

• UAPD protocol

• There are more serious problems

• Include other background info

• Who is in charge on UA Alerts?

• What is the process of sending one?

• Details of the email response

I think my feedback will help Kelly focus on another very important aspect of her project-- the counterarguments. Addressing these concerns properly will help her develop more credibility as an author and will show her audience that she has thoroughly researched the topic and knows it very well, but she still heavily believes in her argument. I also suggested she add more background information to help the logistics of her argument. More details are always better.

How I incorporated course materials:

I incorporated materials from the Project 3 Guide and from the Student's Guide. I wanted to ensure Kelly's draft was on track to meet the requirements of the assignment, because I feel like sometimes we get too caught up in the details and lose the "bigger picture". I know I had this issue earlier. The Student's Guide helped me know what to look for--credibility, logic, emotion. Those key ideas formulated the basis of my responses.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I really admired Kelly's tone and writing style! The introduction hooked in the audience and showed Kelly had a genuine interest in her topic. I especially like the use of "we" and other sentence structures that create a sense of unity among UA students.

Reflection on Post Production II

It's over. I have officially finished Project 3, my video essay. I can relax now--haha, except I can't because the final month of school is hitting me hard.

Found on Tumblr.

I came into the study room this morning, and now it is almost midnight. I've been here for hours. I had an energy drink at some point. I think I was outside at some point. Study groups came and went to neighboring rooms throughout the day. And, I, a lone student, have out-studied them all. Reality seems a bit distorted right now tbh.

But really though, I feel like the toughest project is behind me. And I feel okay with it.

What were some of the successes?

• Um, I got through the week. That is definitely a success.

• I think I was able to incorporate text, audio, music, video, and still images in a good way. My video essay flowed and was easy to follow.

• I kept the video under 10 minutes!! Anyone who is familiar with my projects knows I have a tendency to go on and on and push the time limits. I'm glad I was able to keep it short this time.

• Since the beginning of the semester, I knew the video essay was going to be the toughest genre for me, but the public argument was going to be relatively easy, because I've done them before. I'm glad I have finished this project.

What were some of the challenges?

• I always tell myself I am going to make time work for me, but it just doesn't happen the way I want it to. I spend the necessary time I need to, but I do in in large chunks. I wanted to work on this project every day for small time increments, but that did not happen. I do not think that affected the quality of my project, though.

• Piecing the text, audio, music, video, and images was more work than I thought it was going to be. Everything had to be timed perfectly and organized well. The local revision stage took a long time because of this.

• I had some trouble centering my argument halfway through the process. I figured out I was heading in the wrong direction, so I had to rewrite some sections of my outline.

How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?

• Next week will be a lot easier! The public argument was very time consuming because it was research intensive. The video essay was also time consuming because it required a lot of resources and organization. 

• I feel like the toughest parts of the class are now behind me.

• The only genre I have left is the standard college essay, which is the genre I am most comfortable with because I have years of experience with it. 

• I am definitely ready to start the self-reflection and to wrap up the skills I have strengthened and talk about what I have learned. It's going to be a good time.

How are you feeling about the project at this point?

• Honestly, I am proud of the project I produced. I have not created a video essay before, so I think I did a good job with this one. I incorporated the genre conventions and formulated an argument with lots of support and evidence.  

• I wish I could have more time to further keep making improvements. I feel like with these projects you can never edit enough because there are always more effects you can use.

Editorial Report 13b

Editing is always a difficult task because when I am producing content, I think about my options for a long time and then decide how to organize the material. And once I commit to that, I often do not want to change things up.

For this segment, I knew what my weak spots were, so I worked on fixing those issues,

"Demonstration". 3/18/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

This is probably the last edit I will make before I add it to my final cut.

Rough version:

Revised version:

How did the content change? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively?

• I added a slide stating "Some background information", this serves as a transition between sections and organizes my argument, the audience is able to follow along

• I also added a concluding slide where I share the Medlife website, which is the organization I traveled with and that I am talking about

• This gives the audience a little place to relax and pause and maybe look up some additional information if desired before continuing

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I kept the form mostly the same because I liked the zooming in of the pictures and the array of transition, I think the overall presentation of this segment is easy on the eyes, which helps with audience engagement

• I added some upbeat music to the beginning and end, this more effectively communicates the content because it reflects the tone of my argument, and sets a mood for the audience to follow

Editorial Report 13a

At this point, I have been working on the same content for weeks.

I edited one of my segments for the second time and have produced the third version of it.

"Home office". 5/19/13 via pixabay. CC0 Pubic Domain.

This is the final version I will include in my fine cut.

Rough version:

Revised version:

How did the content change? Why do you think it is being communicated more effectively?

• The content did not change. I did not add any new information to this section because I think I already have a good amount. I also do not want to distract from this message. 

• I tend to make things longer, so I am glad I am keeping this section short and sweet. In the end, I think this makes the content communication more effective.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I changed the font to more appealing fonts and colors

• I changed the caption texts to be more colorful and contain more transitions

• The content is presented more effectively because the form is more aesthetically pleasing to the eye and therefore easier to follow along

Peer Review for Diego Alcantara

For my second peer review this week, I looked into the work of students in other sections.

I left a content suggestion on Diego's Rough Cut for his podcast, which can be found here.

"Headphones". 6/18/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Elaborate on last section about counterargument, it seems rushed

• Expand the conclusion, explain the "so what"

• Introduce yourself in the beginning, what you are doing, and why you care

• Start recording ASAP, it is surprisingly time consuming no matter how detailed the script 

I hope my suggestions help Diego identify what sections are the weakest and need most help. This will help with planning the upcoming week.

How I incorporated course materials:

I mostly left suggestions based on the Project 3 Guide to ensure Diego had all the requirements. I feel like an issue I personally had with my project was not centering my argument enough, so I wanted to bring attention to this issue. I also looked in the First-year Writing Guide and left comments on how to piece the information together through effective transitions.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I liked Diego's tone and voice throughout his script. He was informative but also friendly in a way. He explained the security issues through an analogy, which was particularly effective because it helped the audience better understand the background. I can definitely learn from this because I tend to over explain things, which makes my projects longer. I will try using analogies or simplifying things the way Diego did.

Peer Review for Sienna Willis

One of the most effective tools in English is peer review, because this allows for interactive communication and is a learning process for everyone involved.

"Pencils". 4/9/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I chose to leave a content suggestion on Sienna's Rough Cut for her standard college essay.

Her post can be found here and her essay can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Sienna asked for title suggestions and I said she should consider "I am not a Barbie girl, but I do live in a Barbie world", as a play off the song. Idk why this was the first thing to come into my mind, but hopefully that inspires her in some way

• She should expand on the bridge between the last body paragraph and the conclusion because the ending is abrupt

• Change some sentence structure to more clearly deliver the "a good idea is great.." argument, it is kind of confusing what type of argument is being presented at first

I hope my title suggestion helps Sienna find a title she likes. And I hope my commentary on what sections were weaker than others helps her organize her time so she can create a stronger essay.

How I incorporated course materials:

I left suggestions based off the Project 3 Guide, because I wanted to ensure Sienna was following all the requirements. I know I struggled with staying on topic and meeting the requirements presented on this document, so I wanted to make sure she was too. I also went off what I learned in previous English classes concerning the "flow" of essays.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

Sienna started her essay strongly. The introduction clearly contains her voice as a writer. The imagery about her childhood days sets the stage for a strong argument and all the details she includes in the first body paragraphs establishes her credibility. I can definitely learn from this. For next week, I want to work on expanding my introduction and personalizing it so I can also convey my voice in the project.

Reflection on Post-Production I

There is nothing like Sunday nights to make me contemplate my life choices. I start thinking of all that I have to do and what I did and didn't do well the previous week. I usually end up looking at myself like

Found on pinterest.

It's that point in the semester when only quotes from The Office can really describe how I feel.

So, lets talk about this week's work!

What were some of the successes?

• I made creative choices. This is difficult for me. But I decided how I want to deliver the information and in what sequence along with which filters and photo transitions

• I had time to explore Windows Movie Maker and through some intense trial and error, I was able to align the voice-over with the right photos and text

• So, the rough cut isn't perfect. But I did realize exactly what sections need work and I have started thinking about how to fix those issues. This will make next week easier

• I gathered more pictures and videos for the project, so now I have an even wider array of choices than before

 
What were some challenges?

• Time!! As always, time was not on my side. I spent a lot of it figuring out the tools on Windows Movie Maker and just messing around with it to get all my options

• I realized I did not know my topic as much as I thought I did, so i had to do more research and find more sources to build a more rounded argument

• I don't know what was up with my voice during recording, but it does not sound too good. I am unsure if it is me or the recording system, I have to look into that

• The transitions between segments were difficult because I didn't really know what to say, so I added text to make it easier to follow

How do you think next week will go based on your experiences this week?

• I am not entirely happy with my current project, so I know next week will be dedicated to some heavy editing. 

• I do have the little details down, I just need to figure out how to piece it all together. The content needs to be revised more to produce a more centered argument and the form should be edited a bit to make the video essay more engaging.

• I do feel more comfortable with the topic though, so next week I should be pretty calm about this if I give myself enough time.

How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

• I'm cool about it. I know it is not where I want it to be, but I do know what I need to work on, so everything is good. 

• I think I chose a good topic and project to work on the video essay. This is the genre I was looking forward to the most, so I am glad I chose it now.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

The time has come to share the dreaded rough cut. But seriously though, this is extremely rough and will probably change drastically.

"Cinema". 11/5/12 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

 My goal is to make something that is as nice to look at as that picture. But I am not there yet.


What you should know

• My voice is pretty bad here, I will definitely fix it. I wasn't feeling well at the time

• I want to know if the video is centered, easy to follow, and informative

•  Is my message clear?

• I recently went on a volunteer trip to Peru, so this topic is something I care about exploring. I am being careful to reduce my bias

Major weaknesses

•  My voice, I need to speak up in some areas and keep the volume more even

• I should spend more time addressing the counterarguments

• This is VERY short. I do not know I am going in the right direction and honestly, I'm lost

Major strengths

• I use a variety of pictures, which helps give the video a pleasant tone and easy to follow

• I use transitions between pictures and sections to keep the audience engaged

• I think my introduction is pretty solid, I talk about who I am, what I am doing, and why I care

The Video Essay Rough Cut (ahhhhh)

Editorial Report 12b

I edited another section of my rough material and tried to make it more interesting. I also have better control over my voice now so hopefully is sounds better!

"Filmstrip". 3/9/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I was unsure of how much detail to include about the trip I went on. I want to add this information so the audience knows why I care and to establish credibility because I will be talking about the experience I had along with the evidence.

I want to know if this section is effective at all? If not, how can I further edit it?


Selection from rough cut:

Re-edited selection:

How did the content change? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively?

• I shortened the part where I talk about my personal reason for going on the trip. Instead, I talk about who the group of volunteers are in general and why our career goals match the mission of these volunteer organizations.

• I feel like this is more effective, because it explains the reasons for going quickly.

• I also added a briefer summary of how clinic and project days were run. 

• This is more effective because it summarizes the hours we worked and what we did. 

• I might add a mini calendar thing to this to make it easier to visualize the week.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I added text, which helps the audience follow along with what I am saying.

• I edited the picture order that I used so that the pictures displayed on the screen match the activity I am describing. This makes it way easier to follow along!

• I added some transition effects between pictures, which is more visually appealing and keeps the audience engaged.

Editorial Report 12a

I am totally aware of the fact that my rough content is not my best work. I consider that to be a practice run because I was not sure what I was doing.

So I edited the section where I talk about identifying voluntarism on social media and how sharing an experience is different from "bragging" about it.

"Clapper board". 11/3/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Hopefully, this re-edited version is better than the rough version. But believe me, I will still massively edit this in the upcoming week, it is still not where I want it to be.


Selection from rough cut:

Re-edited selection:

How did the content change? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively?

• I added a transition section! I connected the concept of voluntourism to where these people can be found and how not everyone that posts about their trip is evil. 

• I kept the same screenshots of the posts I chose last week.

• I also added a transition from the screenshots to the next segment where I will be talking about social media.

• Adding these transitions make my message a lot clearer and allow me to sound more opinionated and invested in this topic.

How did the form change? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively?

• I added text to the slides! I think I will re-do this to put the text over an actual picture instead of just a purple background, but the convention is there, so that's good.  

• I also added text to the screenshots to pick out the key words and help the audience focus on one phrase from each post, but still leaving the option of reading the whole post if desired. 

• I also fixed my voice a bit and stopped reading from a script so I think I sound more natural.

• This is overall much more effective because it is easier on the eyes and ears and allows the audience to focus more.

Peer Review for Julia Davenport

Since I did a podcast for my previous project, I have a lot of knowledge on the form and content requirements, and want to share some of my discoveries with others. 

"Headphones". 9/19/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I peer reviewed Julia's podcast production report on homelessness and left a form suggestion, which can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Break up the recording into smaller segments so the editing of final product is easier

• Add ideas of sound effects and music transitions to content outline to incorporate these features later in the process

• Add section of personal connection to establish credibility

I think I was able to help Julia by suggesting ways to make post-production easier. I know this was a difficult thing for me to do because I had absolutely no idea how to create a podcast or how to edit audio. It was frustrating, so I wanted to give her a few tips on what would make the final product creation easier.

How I incorporated course materials:

I used the Project 3 Course Document from D2L for most of my commentary. Since Julia has a detailed outline, I wanted to make sure she was incorporating everything she needs to. I noticed she had logical and emotional appeals, but was missing credibility appeals through a personal connection. I suggested she add this. I also used my experience with podcasts to leave advice.

One thing I admired and can learn from: 

Julia used emotional and logical appeals in an effective way. She started by telling the story of a man who shared his experience of panhandling and then jumped into the facts of homelessness. This did not take up much time, so it kept the audience engaged and interested. I can definitely learn from this, because I think I always over explain things, which makes my projects a bit long.

Peer Review for Missy Webb

Throughout high school, essays were essentially my life. I wrote piles upon piles of essays for AP classes and what not.

It has really taken me by surprise that I have not had to write a single essay this semester. I've written a ton of lab reports, but no standard English essays.

What surprised me even more is that I don't want to write an essay! Because I've written so many, that is the genre I am definitely most comfortable with, but where's the fun in that?

I am no longer in the "essay mind mode", so I thought it would be good to peer edit a standard essay, so I can get back into that kind of organizational thinking.

"Laptop". 2/14/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I chose to leave a content suggestion on Missy's Production Report for her standard essay, which can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• State what her connection is to the topic either in the first paragraph or the introduction to establish credibility with the audience

• Add more commentary in between the facts to explain the significance of the facts to the audience

• Add concluding and introductory sentences to make the paragraph flow

I think I was able to help Missy by suggesting she add more commentary to strengthen her voice and to add something about why she cares about this topic. I think both of those suggestions will help strengthen her voice and build her credibility. She incorporated the facts nicely and with ease, but the paragraph will be stronger if she adds a few things.

How I incorporated course materials:

I left suggestions based off the "Questions to consider when giving feedback" section of the Student's Guide to First-Year Writing.
I turned to this source specifically for ideas on how to peer edit the use of sources and use of evidence. Since Missy's paragraph had a lot of facts, but not enough analysis, I thought suggestions in these areas would be the most beneficial.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

Missy did a wonderful job researching the topic, selecting the best facts, and incorporating them into her writing. I know when I do research, I feel like every piece of information is important so I try to cram it all into the essay. She only picked out 3 big facts that give her enough to talk about to keep the audience engaged and make her point. I can definitely learn from this.

Reflection on Production

Sigh, another week is gone and I survived yet again. This week was difficult in a diferent way though. I had to really think about my topic and make creative decisions and I am just not good at making those.

Found on Tumblr.

Michael Scott just understands me as a person. This picture is me. This. Right here. Like, same.


What were some successes?

• I was able to finish revising my content outline and narrowing down more sources to use.
• I downloaded Windows Movie Maker and started playing with it a but to try and figure out how to use it.
• I have a lot of resources to use for pictures!
• The exporting for video is much easier than for audio, so that made me extremely happy. It is quick and simple and does not make me question my life choices. 10/10 would recommend

What were some challenges?

• Technology is not my friend, using Windows Movie Maker was still somewhat difficult.

• I did not understand how to change the properties of individual photos or how to add pre-recorded voice-over segments. It was interesting.

• I also had to choose how to organize the content to meet the video essay conventions. There were a lot of possibilities, and I have a tendency to not be able to commit to one idea.

How do you think next week will go, based on your experience this week?

• Next week will be more frustrating, because I still do not have a complete grasp on my argument.

• I am still not comfortable using Windows Movie Maker so I will have to spend some time looking for other video editing software and trying to figure out how to use those. They might even turn out worse. Who knows?

• I will need to really set aside a lot of time next week to think about what direction I really want to head into and rethink the way I am outlining my content.

How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

• Um, honestly, I am feeling very nervous right now.

• I knew this was going to be the hardest project, but now I am starting to doubt my ability to create a decent video essay.

• I looked forward to this assignment because I had this whole vision in my mind of what effects to use and how to center my argument, but now it seems harder than I thought.

• I definitely have to focus on what direction I want my argument to take and how to vivedly express the genre conventions!

Production Report 11b

I really did not think it was possible for me to create something that makes me cringe in the depths of my soul. But I have done it, haha. I am very lost in this process, but I am learning....

"Start-up". 3/27/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

This is the content outline:

• Opening (a portion of it)
• Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a doctor. That is, has always been, and will always be, the dream. So, as a college freshman, I gathered my savings from past summer jobs and I booked a trip to Lima, Peru.
•  What is MedLife?
• Volunteering during Spring Break
• We helped provide medical, dental, and gynecology services to a lot of people from across Lima.
• We started clinic days at 8 am and ended at 3 pm. We traveled to a different location every day to ensure we provided services to as many people as possible.
• We also helped build s staircase in a community where a steep slope cause trouble for children and adults.

This is the raw footage:

How did you decide to use form to present your content? How did the conventions influence your choices?

• I used images from the internet as well as images I took myself for this segment. The conventions of the video essay led me to pick a lot of pictures and to do voice-over.

• I tried to keep this as short and to the point as possible, because video essays are supposed to be succicient, but I do not really think this was effective...

• I presented my content in a story mode but I do not think I had the right tone. I definitely have to work more on this.

How did production go? What challenges occurred during the process?

• Okay, apparently I am just not meant to deal with any kind of editing software. I have no idea what is going on on Windows Movie Maker....how the heck was 12 year old me better at using this than 18 year old me? Outrageous.

• Finding the content for this segment was easy, but putting this super rough and pretty bad video together was complicated.

Production Report 11a

Ok, y'all. I did the thing. I made a little segment from my outline from raw content. It is very rough, I am just beginning to learn how to do this stuff.

"Laptop". 2/8/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

This is the content outline:

• The Background
• This article says that college volunteers going to other countries are essentially just doing a poor job and are not mindful of their actions
• This type of individual is refered to as a "voluntourist"
• Sometimes people confuse social media postings with acts of voluntourism.
• Explain the different - it is in the content of the message

This is the raw footage:

How did you decide to use form to present your content? How did the conventions influence your choices?

• Originally, I wanted to present these screenshots in a way so they are flying at the screen. I thought that would give it a dramatic effect. Then I realized I will have to actually be speaking about the screenshots while displaying them. 

• So I decided to show them in this simple way for now. If I find more pictures, I will do the flying thing and do the voiceover with it.

• The conventions of the video essay greatly influenced what images I want to show. Instead of reading the posts out loud, I will let the audience do it themselves. Maybe highlight some words.

How did production go? What challenges occurred during the process?

• This was generally easy. I found the screenshots I wanted to use immediately and I knew what I wanted to say.

• The difficult part was finding a way to organize the content and edit it with the voiceover. It has been a long time since I've used Windows Movie Maker, I do not know how to use this updated version.

• I will also look into other video editing software to see if there is something better I can use.

Reflection on Pre-Production

As always, this week has been somewhat exhausting. There is always so much to do.

Found on pinterest.

Same, Chris.

I feel like pre-production week is among the heaviest because I have to pick a topic, do extensive research, and organize everything.

In the end though, the effort put into this week always makes it easier to continue the project over the following weeks.

With that said, it's time for my favorite activity-- reflection!

What were some successes?

• Well, it's Sunday at noon, I am not stressing too much about this week. This is a first.

• I was able to plan out production week and have some buffer room in case something happens.

• I have fully realized this project will be the most difficult for me. The video essay editing and software I will have to use are going to stress me out, there is no doubt about this. But knowing this enables me to be more prepared.

• I pinpointed issues that are important to me and learned a bit more about myself.

• I realized I have gotten better at organizing blog posts, hyperlinking, and creating outlines. Woohoo for these skills

What were some challenges?

• Time!!!! I can never have enough of it. I always have a lot to do and with projects like these, I want to have enough time to just sit and think through my options. I felt rushed to pick a topic and complete everything. It wasn't a fun experience.

• Picking a topic!!! I did not expect it to be this hard. I had a lot of fantastic options to chose from, but I just...couldn't. I wanted to do them all, and it was hard to choose.

• Making the production schedule was difficult, because I realized how much I have to do and how little time I have. It's mildly upsetting. But at least I'm organized about it now!

How do you think next week will go, based on your experience this week?

• I think next week's success is dependent on how I stick to the production schedule and how early I begin finding still images. I think the filming will occur later in the week just because it is more difficult and I still have to think more about what still image:video balance I want.

• Next week will run smoothly though, because I know what my topic is and what I want to accomplish.

• It will still be difficult because I will have to make more creative choices on how to structure the video essay. And I'm pretty bad at making these decisions.

How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

• I'm excited!!! (like, three exclamation points excited)

• Fun fact, I used to want to be a writer/director/photographer. I used to make "movies" that were somewhat like video essays. I'm excited to pick that up again. 

• I feel like I haven't had the chance to be this creative and to just create stuff in my previous English classes. It is refreshing to do things besides writing essays.

• I am fully aware that this project will be difficult, but I also know it will be fun.

Production Schedule P3

Now that I know what my topic is and have a content outline, it is time to organize my time.

"Clock". 12/24/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Every project, this has been my biggest weakness. I always feel like I run out of time.

My goal for this video essay is to not feel so intensely rushed. I want to find enough time to be able to work on it calmly and creatively.

My production schedule can be found here.

Content Outline P3

Have I mentioned before how much I love outlines?

"Compass". 8/27/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

Outlines make me feel so organized and put together. The process of making outlines is stressful, though.

Anyways, a copy of my outline can be found here.

Peer Review for Elizabeth Hernandez

For the second part of peer review this week, I looked for someone in a different section who is making a podcast, because I made one for project 2 and want to pass on some tips.

"Startup". 5/21/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

 I looked over Elizabeth's Rhetorical Analysis and left some brainstorming/outlining/resource recommendations, which can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Explicitly state argument

• The purpose of project 3 is to make an argument on an issue, argue what the cause of the issue is, or argue for a solution to the issue

• Elizabeth has a lot of content to work with, but I suggested she write her argument down so it can guide the way she constructs her content outline

• Learn how to use audio software sooner rather than later

• I suggested she conduct a practice run so she can familiarize herself with the program

• This will also avoid damaging the podcast halfway through production

•  When making the content outline, add in parenthesis how that information is going to be delivered

• Use this as a checklist to ensure all podcast conventions are included

I hope my feedback helped Elizabeth by bringing up issues she may face in the future and how to tackle them. I think organization is key to success in these projects. By explicitly stating her argument, she will be able to make a great content outline. And in that content outline, she can be specific on what conventions to place where, which will lead to smooth post-production.

How I incorporated course materials into my feedback:

The suggestions I left are based purely on the Project 3 Guide. I felt like the rhetorical analysis was missing a central argument, which is the goal of project 3 --to make an argument. So once that is put into place, everything will run smoothly.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

I like that the content from the rhetorical analysis is broad yet focused. I know I want my project to focus on the media, but I have a lot of ideas floating around. Elizabeth has narrowed her project down to interracial couple representation, which allows her freedom to expand and go in different directions, but it is still grounded on one topic. I can definitely learn from this, by picking something more specific for my own project.

Peer Review for Jianna LoCricchio

I'm so used to peer editing drafts of projects, it took me by surprise to see we have to peer edit pre-production content for this project. There are definitely some benefits to this though, because it allows us to catch any mistakes before we start creating a draft.

"Notebook". 1/8/16 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

I looked over Jianna's Content Outline for her video essay and left some outline suggestions, which can be found here.

How my feedback helped the author:

• I left the following suggestions

• Pick transitions that give the audience a quick break between content sections

• Consider including self into video

• Think about how to open and conclude the video essay, these are very important segments

• Add in parenthesis how that content is going to be presented in form, this will make production easier

I think I was able to help Jianna by suggesting she combine content and form into her outline. I think this will make it much easier to begin production next week. I think she has all the necessary content and probably doesn't need to do much additional research, so the form is definitely priority now, especially since it is a big part of the overall grade for the project.

How I incorporated course materials into my feedback:

I mostly left suggestions based on the form and conventions I saw in the Video Essay examples on D2L. Jianna has the content down, so it is best for her to move onto form and start thinking about that, especially the transitions, music, and whether or not she wants to appear in the video.

One thing I admired and can learn from:

The content was wonderfully displayed. It is very organized. I like that she added links to her sources, this will help production week run smoothly. I should definitely add this to my outline.

Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3

Project 3 is a public argument. One thing I like about this project is that we can pick any topic that interests us, regardless of its connection to our majors.

On the one hand, this is awesome! I can pick whatever I want, anything that excites me or that I feel strongly about. On the other hand, I feel strongly about a lot of things, how will I ever decide?

"Possibilities". 7/19/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain.

In order to decide what topic works best for me, I have to rhetorically analyze my current situation and figure out what unique perspectives I can bring to an argument.

Author

What will you draw on? Be specific about how your plans for project 3 connect to some previous, current, or burgeoning interest of yours.

• I watch a lot of TV.
• I know a lot about Grey's Anatomy, Criminal Minds, Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, and countless other shows I can watch on Netflix (and I remember a lot of details)

• I have recently become more interested in film, so maybe media portrayal is something I could argue for under the right circumstances

• I've always been interested in animal rights, I used to have a blog on a website for it (I think it was dodo). It never became popular and I didn't write much, but its an issue I've always been passionate about

• I used to photograph a lot, but I stopped after freshman year of high school. It would be cool if I could find something related to that.

• I know a lot about psychology, so I could definitely focus on something revolving it.

• Social justice is a big topic, and I try to stay on top of current events concerning it. 

What are some preconceptions, previously held opinions, or potential areas for bias that you should be aware of?

• I tend to be very opinionated on the TV shows that I watch, so I am kind of scared I will end up arguing for something and then realize my bias is getting in the way

• I already think the media does not entirely portray mental illness in the best way, so that is one thing I should keep in mind.

Audience

How are you thinking about your audience? Who are they?

• I am thinking of my audience as the general public, to be honest. I don't think a particular group will be more interested than others. 

• I want to pick a topic that most people will care about because it is present in their lives. I do not want it to be too specific to one group, I feel like this will reduce the effect.

• I am generally thinking of my audience as being my age, or somewhere between 16-26.

What beliefs and assumptions might this audience already hold? What positions do they hold on this issue? How will you respond to that position?

• I think a lot of people have already heard of social justice movements such as #BlackLivesMatter, and have already formed their own opinions on it, which can be either good or bad. I will have to respond to this by explaining the movement first and then going on to make my argument.

• If I focus on media/TV, I have to think about the fact that some people will have seen some shows and some won't. I have to be able to explain it and then move onto my argument. Also, like myself, other people may be firm in their chance, so I cannot focus on changing minds. Rather, opening room for thought should be the goal.

• If I focus on animal rights, some people may not know about all the laws and regulations that impact animal rights issues. Sometimes they won't even hold a position. I need to address this by explaining the background as thoroughly as possible.

• Overall, I need to focus on the fact that regardless of how much the audience knows about a topic, it is very probable that they already have a stance on it. So I have to give background information, allow them to take a stance there, and then make my argument and focus on explaining it. I cannot openly try to change minds, that will backfire.

How might they react to your argument?

• My main arguments for the possible topics I might cover are as follows (put as simply as possible)

• TV in the media

• Criminal Minds - responsibility of both audience and producers to prevent desensitization

• How I Met Your Mother - the finale was terrible, the writing shows poor flexibility

• Grey's Anatomy - it should probably end soon, I love the show, but there are not a lot of places to go 

• Reaction to these- half and half, people will either agree or disagree, there is not middle ground unless you have not seen the shows

• Animal rights

• Ringling Bros - needs to shut down elephant shows ASAP

• Reaction - I think most people will agree, especially since there is a lot of footage of the animal abuse

•  Mental illness in media

• Criminal Minds - ehh, could do better, but at the same time, the audience is also responsible

• Grey's - kind of dismisses these things (Arizona's PTSD, Dr. Dixon disappeared)

• Reaction - also half and half, people will probably believe one side has a bigger role than the other though

How are you going to relate or connect with your audience? Specific words, ideas or ways of arguing?

• I think establishing credibility through personal stories/involvement is the way to go

• I should mention my interest in the topic and show I know a lot about it within the first few minutes and last few minutes of the video essay especially

Think of one specific person or set of people you know personally or professionally who fall within the definition of 'target audience'. What can you tell them in order to convince them of your perspective? What would need to happen for them to agree with you?

• One of my best friends, Keisha, is studying Psychology and Family Studies at CMU; she knows A LOT about social justice and mental illnesses

• She is the same age as me and watched a lot of the same shows and follows the same social justice movements as I do

• To convince her of my point, I would set up the background and then move onto the first claim

• Then, I would move onto proposed solutions, because I think this is what will really resonate with her the most because it offers a solution (as opposed to me just writing about why an issue is an issue)

• In order for her to agree with me, I will have to demonstrate I know a lot about the topic, aka I need a lot of resources that will help me address the issue from all sides and viewpoints

Purpose/Message

What do you want to accomplish with project 3? What affect do you want it to have on your intended audience?

• I do not think it is realistic to expect my project to change most of the audience's minds. I want to provide the audience with accurate, interesting information that will allow them to think of an issue from a different perspective and come up more additions to my proposals or something along those lines.

• I want the audience to also consider the cause of the issue and how to "nip it in the bud"

• In addition, I want to convince the audience of the importance of an issue, and to convince them that some sort of change (possibly the solution I have to offer) is necessary

What still needs to be accomplished?

• Other research

• I need to find videos and still images! I looked through a lot of print media sources just to gather possible sources, but now that I have narrowed down the topics that interest me the most, I need to make sure I will have enough to work with once I commit to a topic.

• I should find more primary sources, to make my arguments stronger and more credible.

• People will need to be reminded of

• The fundamental truths of the topic as well as definitions

• For example, if I decide to focus on animals rights, I will have to define animal abuse and remind the audience of what laws have been passed as well as which ones are in process

• Perspectives that need to be addressed

• Definitely first hand/primary accounts 

• For example, if I focus on the portrayal of autism in the media, I should incorporate the opinions of film critics who are autistic because they provide a unique perspective.

• Info left to gather

• Background info! You can never really have enough of it. The background info is what usually leads to the underlying cause. And from there, possible solutions can arise.

Genre

• For this project, I am making a Video Essay!

• I expect the audience to be around my age, so I feel like they will have rather high expectations. I should add all video essay conventions in a sophisticated, clean manner, because people my age can really pick up on those details. And also, the more aesthetically pleasing a video is, the easier it is to become engaged in it. 

• My history with this genre is...limited. When I was younger, I made a of of those Windows Movie Maker videos. I made the digital version of scrapbooks. I would play photos with background music and a few videos I think. So, I am familiar with the program, but I still need to learn a lot more to succeed on this project. 

• Comfort level? Feeling like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh right now. Extremely nervous. I am not tech savvy at all. But at the same time, I am excited! I think I will learn a lot about whatever topic I choose and I will also figure out a new way to portray information in a new way. I am actually kind of glad we haven't only been writing essays in this class. Sure, that would have been a lot easier, but also a lot less fun. 

• Top two most effective conventions of the genre

• Visual stimulation

• If done properly, this will make it 10x easier for the audience to become engaged and pay attention. I love documentaries because of this. I feel like I learn more by seeing things.

• Transitions

• I can transitions to break the project into segments. This will make my argument easier to follow and will give the audience small breaks in between to process all the info and form their opinions. 

When

Are there any historical events that might impact how your audience perceives your argument? Or necessary background information?

• The background varies depending on the topic, which I have not yet chosen. But I have narrowed it down to media.

• Information that is necessary for audiences to know include:

• Background of shows, laws, bills, etc.

• Definitions of keywords such as "mental illness", "voluntarism", etc.

• What groups are involved in the issue and what they think

Who else is talking about this topic? (hyperlink over each one)

• CNN
• Social justice 

• The Artifice
• So much info on TV shows

• Psychology Today
• Anything on mental illness can be found here

• New York Post
• Endless Reviews

What are 3-4 major counter arguments you'll have to respond to?

• Watching violent TV leads to desensitization.

• Response: People can choose what to watch. If something is too violent, can always watch something else.

• Found here

•   Why is there such an emphasis on this #BlackLivesMatter movement? Why isn't is #AllLivesMatter?

• Response: Yes, all lives do matter. But statistically, more people of color are arrested and subjected to more police brutality. The "Black Lives Matter" movement does not disregard non-black lives at all. 

• Found here

•  Volunteers only travel internationally to get good Instagram pictures.

• Response: Is it really all that bad to share one's experience? The pictures being shared are raising awareness. Not every person posts pictures to raise awareness, but a lot of people do. We cannot label an entire group of people this way.

• Found here